Why has this hurt not disappeared?

Its been almost 2.5 months since me girlfriend has left me for the second time. To be honest the longest we have gone with out talking to each other has been 2 weeks. Either family problems occur and we contact each other to let them know. Or as in one case I found out she had begun dating another guy, were we went off on a bit of a rant to each other. Or we just got bored and started to talk to each other. Yet she has told me multi times on how she knows I need my space. Now there are days were I don't mind talking to her because it helps when I miss her, I don't openly say it, we just catch up with each others lives but don't go into our personal lives.

But there are days like today where I just have this hurt in my chest where my heart is. I don't understand why it hurts, I just want it to stop. I work 40 hour weeks, been invited to hang around with friends and even when I hang around them I still hurt inside. What can make this go away?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds like heartburn; Peptobismol or Tums could probably fix it. Of course, it's probably not a physical hurt but an emotional hurt. You miss her and now you can't have her. She made you feel special and no one has ever made you feel that way. Maybe you loved her and did not realize this. The solution is to move on. The wound may never close, but you can control how you feel. The only problem is you. Deep down in your subconscious, you want her back, and you don't want to move on. The fact is she already has. Two and half months and no inclination of her wanting you back demonstrates this. You're only hurting yourself if you continue to go down this path. You control your feelings. You can continue to mope around, or you can say I don't need her. I'm going to find someone else! I deserve someone better than her!

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    • I do need to say me and her have had discussions about me seeming to not care about her new boy friend, and jealousy (the lack of showing by me). What do you think of?

      Thanks I have tired tums a few times but it works on and off.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It hurts cause A) you realized you cared more than you thought you did or B) she has someone new and you don't so you feel in a sense you "lost" cause you didn't move on yet. I'm sorry bro but either way if its been that long its over. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Or maybe you didn't do anything wrong but you owe it to yourself not to dwell! Believe me it gets you no where! Hit the gym, work on you, get a new hobby, Get out there and meet people. Even if your just saying hi to every girl that you pass by and nothing else your gonna start to feel much better. You can cry over spilled milk but its so much easier to just go get a new one ;)

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  • I'm in a similar position mate,been about 2 months, she hasn't started seeing anyone else but she's kissed another lad. Conversation however has dwindled between us, we talk less and less as the weeks go by, or since we aranged to meet up and she bailed on me. I suppose that's the only thing I can thank her for.

    Your lass looks like she's holding you close, while she's moving on/moved on she can't have everything, so show her that. Trust me, I'm gettin to the stage now where I think, 'i obviously didn't acount for much in ur life if this is how I am being treated'. She is showing no respect to you by stringing you along.

    As for the hurt your feeling, you need to learn to take control of it, I have had those very same feelings, but its all about controlling, remembering how she's been towards you and not reaching for the phone when it happens or when you git a low, by doing this, you will earn, all you need is you. So get back to you.

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