Thinking about things made me realize I don't know if I want him as a friend, not b/c we are not together b/c I feel in the future he won't fit in my life anymore. When I picture my life he doesn't fit in there even as friend. I don't know what the future holds but I have no idea if I want him in my life & I told him. I may never talk to him again b/c I don't know if I'll want a friendship or want to include him in my life. I know he wants me in his & he told me he hopes we can be friends.
We discussed this on Skype & I told him I think I should delete him but he convinced me to just block him, in hopes I'll decide to reach out in the future & that I can unblock him when I am ready. But I have this burning desire to cut him out, I know I shouldn't burn bridges but I feel like I won't want him apart of my life in the future or ever want to contact him even though I know I don't know what the future holds or what I want.
Also after I told him how I felt about everything he told me this, their is always a chance we could be together in the future, I am not trying to give false hopes but if it happens I don't want to miss it. That bit confused me, him saying that is making it hard for me to move on. None of us know what the future holds but I am pretty sure our relationship is over & if I ever decide to contact him I feel like even if we tried to be friends, I'll always want more.
I am trying to move on but I find it so hard. B/c the relationship didn't end for any other reason besides distance & I know I'll find someone but it is just hard when you thought as this person as your future. I know I don't know what will happen but I am finding it so hard not to think about the future or this.