We broke up last week. It was an impulsive break up. We had a string of great days leading up to it with him telling me how badly he wants a future with me&that I am the love of his life. A fight blew up, my dramatic ass said things I don't mean like "maybe we should break up" he'd say "no. I want to stay together" & eventually he just took my untruthful words as a real breakup&that was it. We had an absolutely amazing relationship. Since the beginning we knew it was something very special. I've had many bfs, some I've loved very much, but nothing like this. The way we met&the fact that we've had the same group of friends for 10yrs yet never knew about e/o while we both were dating other people - it felt like the stars aligned. In Sept I had a miscarriage for an unwanted pregnancy. It was extremely traumatic for me&left me depressed&easily irritable. Around that time he also found out that the day of our first date, I slept with my friend with benefits before going on the date. Of course I didn't think a first date would turn into this kind of relationship so I didn't care but I liked him enough after our first date that I cut off all ties with the friends with benefits right after. Still, he couldn't get over that. He got anxiety over it.. I tried helping him w/ it but eventually got irritated by how often he was having anxiety over me not even cheating on him. I still would try calming him down but I guess it was apparent in my tone. So we started having a big fight once a week, always rooted from this problem. we as a couple/as people were great for e/o, but the fights always had something to do with my mistake. He said he loved me too much&that the thought of another man being w/me made him sick. He started getting depressed the last few weeks bc he wanted the anxiety to go away&just enjoy our relationship without it. We just talked for 5hrs on the phone. He said that we can't be together bc I need to get help for the miscarriage&he needs help for my mistake
He cried a lotttt during our phone call. He said he doesn't want me to hate him and that he doesn't want me to cut off contact with him. I asked if this is goodbye forever, he said that he isn't closing the door and that whatever is meant to happen, will happen. He said right now he's only focusing on him and I getting better and that he's not thinking of anything but being completely alone. I asked how this is so easy for him he said that breaking up with his girlfriend of 5yrs was easy. But that this+
Was the hardest thing of his life. He said he's never kept a door open after a break up before but that when we get better we can talk about it. He said he's terrified of the fact that this might have been our great love and that he'll never find that again with anyone. So, should I do No contact to make him miss my presence? And is this just his depression and anxiety saying he's not thinking of a future reconciliation but that the door isn't closed?