Awkward Silence will be the death of me?

so me and my ex dated for 2.5 years broke up cuz she didn't think I wanted her over girls on my social media and in all honesty I was flirting. so long story short we broke up and still talking. things have been rough but we get by. Last night we had an ugly fight. Was helping her with a school project things got heated we argued and it went from 0-100. I worked so hard to control my anger and in the last few months its undone years and years of self control. I've had enough trying to tell her its over while in a fit of rage. I held her in the wall she kept falling down or squirming as a result she hit her head off the wall and thermostat. which later turned into me smashing her head into these things. I grabbed her arm pretty bad. I endedup head butting the wall. leaving in the freezing cold. ask her for a blanket slept and bus stop for 40 mins. gave back the bus ticket walked for 30 mins screaming kicking things she called me and begged me to come and sleep on the couch so I wouldn't get arrested. by the time I got back I was so cold had to take a shower to stop from freezing. I love her and hate everything that's going on. so I went in her room after to cuddle and love her. she just wanted to cuddle. the next day she slept in till about 5-6 pm. my daughter comes over on the weekends so I. was up with the two girls. I finally lied down around the same time she woke up. when I woke up later around 8. there was dishes sitting there plate with food after I kept he kitchen cleaned all day and she woke up to a clean sink. She ate dinner without me. So im just lying down. She takes a bath doesn't ask me to join. I pass out i wake up around 12 -1. still in the bath. when I finally wake up at 2 am. she isn't in bed and downstairs doing her hair... like its so awkward and my stomach is turnt. I ask what she is doing she says coming to bed. now im lying down with my back to her. she gets ready lies down. Doesn't grab me to cuddle ask to cuddle touch me just goes to bed. I don't know


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What Girls Said 1

  • Release some of that control. Your relationship doesn't sound very healthy in my opinion.

    • it used to be healthy. we are clinging on. Release what control?

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    • In these moments, what does your body feel like it's going thru? (i know it sounds like a strange question, but your responses to it, could be very significant)

    • I feel distant. yet yearning for what im used to. I miss her and I mean well. no im not perfect. but I know I put her thrust the same thing so I have no place to say anything. but clearly I care if im on here. im trying and just want this awkward silence and distance gone.

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