How long should I wait before I give up hope that he'll come back? I need some REAL male advice?

I'll keep this as short and simple as possible. I've been dating a man for a little over two years. During that time, we fought a lot (mostly about him cheating, not wanting to commit, and my reaction to it). We've been on and off. Fought and decided to "move on"... but we'd end up texting or calling each other days later. We've never gone 5 days without speaking in the entire two years. I am so in love with him, but he's been pushing me away for the last cpl of months. Last night, he told me I was never his girlfriend, he never loved me, I trigger him, he's happier without me aND wants me out of his life. But the day before yesterday, he said something similar, only to text and call me at 130 in the morning to come pick him up. He said he called because he wanted to talk to me, but he only insulted me and ripped me apart emotionally. Why did he do this? He asserts he wants me out of his life and he'll "never be with" me. He also said I need to stop calling him and move on with my life. As I stated before, we've never gone more than 5 days without one of us reaching out to the other. Is he really gone for good? Will he EVER miss me and regret what he's done? How long should I not contact him before realizing there is no hope for us? I'm grieving and my heart is broken. I desperately need an honest answer to these questions. Please, somebody, help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand your troubles and it is a very hard situation.

    I think you should be aware of the fact this person may be emotionally damaged in some way. Some people have a very hard time maintaining healthy relationships.

    I personally advice you to cut ties and move on. Every person deserves someone who will truly love them. Don't you think you deserve better?

    Shouldn't be fighting with someone you love so much.

    He very well may miss you and regret it in the future. You deserve better though.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Follow your common sense. After so much investment to cut you off like that, is shady AF. If you have any self respect and dignity, move on and find yourself someone worth your energy, unless you live on drama and crave the victim role. Cut him out of your life the same way he did to you. Give yourself a time to mourn him properly, then look for the hottest workout gear you have, get to the gym and focus on building yourself up emotionally and physically. When you look good, feel healthy and mentally stable there is no one who can take that away from yourself. When he comes back and sees how good you are without him, he will definitely regret it yet he may not admit it and by then you should have moved on. Life is too short to let someone ruin your happiness. Find something else to do to distract you from texting him or thinking of him. Think of it as detox. You'll crave him less and less. Read good books and cultivate good friendships. You are what you choose.

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    • That's very good advice. Thank you. I just wish it didn't hurt this bad. I feel crazy.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Sorry to hear about your situation but your mistake was staying with a guy that cheated with you. If he's done it once he will do it again and its likely he is still cheating on you. Cut your loses and be happy you aren't with someone that doesn't respect you.

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  • How can you be in love with a man when he has cheated on you?
    Yeah sounds like he wants to be single. He did that cuz he's an asshole. You shouldn't ever contact him again.

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    • What chance is there that he'll miss me/contact me and possibly change? If I give him exactly what he's asked for, do you suppose he'll regret it? I'm looking for honesty at this point. I'm hurt and looking for answers.

    • No I don't and you shoukd try to move on. He clearly told you he doesn't want anything to do with you or have you in his liffe. He won't ever change. You can't keep a man like that. It sucks I know your hearbroke. You should of left when he broke your trust and cheated. Next time don't let a cheater back in.

  • You don't need him in your life he doesn't value you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • My question, why would you want him back? That sounds absolutely exhausting.

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    • You're right on both points. It is absolutely, emotionally exhausting. Yes, it seems foolish to want him back. But I dont want him back--I want him to realize he's wrong and change. I just need to know if that's a realistic hope or if I'm only fooling myself. This heart of mine is absolutely foolish, it seems.

    • It seems like a cycle now, almost like bad habits have formed with the way he treats you. I would say to try some couples counseling if you guys truly want to work it out. But don't waste too much more of your life on that. It goes fast. Good luck.

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