Is it ok to feel upset about her not spending her birthday with me?

My ex and I started dating again, she was the one that dumped me so she was the one reaching and well, we started dating again, tomorrow is her birthday and we had plans, yesterday we were hanging out and she told me she decided to go to another country for her birthday, there she would have a blast with her friends and all that. And i felt upset about it because i was like a fucking plan b, a backup just in case something better didn't show up.

She has always left me for her friends in the past, even declining going to the club with me because she only could go with her friends or dancing with other dudes and her friends but telling me she is shy when dancingh with me in front of her friends.

Yeah, i dont think its gonna work out between us anymore but do i have the right to feel how i feel? Or im exaggerating


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  • We can't help how we feel. So I wouldn't waste too much time debating where how you feel is "legit" or "justified."

    But I would also not spend too much time seeing yourself as some type of victim of her bad behaviour, only because this enforces mental games that promote "taking things personally" which is soon harmful. At least in my opinion. Taking things personally is just the ego trying to blame others for invented injustices in order to feel good. And that's horrible.

    With all of that said I will add this... it's important to recognize when you're not a priority to your partner, and if you feel that "sucks" then let her go and find yourself a partner who meets your expectations.

    You have every right to have expectations of your partner. As long as you make those expectations clear to them. It doesn't take sense to silently pout about something if she doesn't know that what she's doing upsets you (I'm not saying that's what you're doing, I'm just ranting about a point here...)

    You should have boundaries, that's healthy. But it's not fair to be upset when she crosses those boundaries if you've never made them clear. That's all.

    For the most part, I've found that when ever we take something personally it's just our ego trying to make us feel important. And therefore something deeper needs to be addressed. It also helps to use a little empathy with our partner in order to see where they're coming from. She's probably early 20's and partying with girlfriends will always seem more awesome. That's just where she's at. Don't take it personally.

    There's BILLIONS of women, don't be afraid to go meet more in order to find someone who's a perfect fit. :D

    ~ Robby

    • True, she is in her early 20, but im also there... but yeah, clearly her priorities is something else, not me

    • The young ones are the hottest but also the flakiest. If you can come to terms with her indifference then you'll enjoy your time with her more. Being unattached to her helps big time! But good luck doing that... hehe

    • Honeslty, she has disrespected me enough, and i dont think its worth it, ima just let it die


    Naaa... You are letting your girlfriend getting away with treating you like shit. You shouldn't be upset, you should be angry. She clearly doesn't respect you otherwise she wouldn't embarrassed being seen with you.

    Stand your ground and don't let her get away with it. If she doesn't change then dump her. Please don't put up with that bullshit anymore.

  • Yes if you guys are dating she should spend her birthday with you


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