Have you ever heard this or said this during a break up?

Have you ever heard this or said this during a break up?Your partner starts the break up talk and, when you start to show any emotion, he or she says:

IT'S NOT YOU. . . IT'S ME.

And then. . . do you have at least a tiny, brief thought that you'd like to kick them in the ass for saying something so totally lame? Isn't that the cheesiest break up excuse anybody ever used?

  • I have never heard or said "It's not you. It's me."
    Vote A
  • I have heard "It's not you. It's me." But I didn't want to kick my partner in the ass.
    Vote B
  • I have heard "It's not you. It's me." And, yeah, I wanted to kick my partner in the ass.
    Vote C
  • I have heard "It's not you. It's me." And I kicked my partner in the ass.
    Vote D
  • I have said "It's not you. It's me." I didn't think it was lame.
    Vote E
  • I have said "It's not you. It's me." I knew it was lame and I prayed that my partner wouldn't want to kick me in the ass.
    Vote F
  • I have said "It's not you. It's me." I knew it was lame. My partner kicked me in the ass.
    Vote G
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Most Helpful Girl

  • " it's not you, it's me " translates to "IT'S TOTALLY YOU AND I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU ANYMORE" and yeah I hate people who use this as an excuse to break up. they're just trying to be nice but they come off as basic and lame

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've heard the it's not you it's me and it made me wonder... What exactly the problem is after that?

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What Girls Said 23

  • I've only been broken up with once and he gave this reasoning - but went on further to explain he still had feelings with his ex and wanted to approach her again so was ending our relationship. I actually appreciated him doing that BEFORE calling her and it definitely had nothing to do with me. So while cliched it was honest

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  • Yeah, my ex. After 4 years of amazing relationship he just dumped me one day out of the blue using those same words. At the time I thought of it as the lamest excuse ever, but then I realized that he was right and it's actually an honest reason. It IS him, he changed and became an idiot. I play no part in his stupidity, it's all him. So if someone tells you that it's not you but them, you should believe them because even if they're lying it IS still them and by lying they are proving that.

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  • No. I've never heard him say 'it's not you, it's me' word for word but I guess him starting to beg me to hang around while he insists that he'll work on improving those things every time I bring up how I think we should go our separate ways would fall into the same ballpark.

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  • Sometimes it just means they think you are worth a great relationship and they can't offer it to you, so it can be honest and meant to be caring.

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  • Yes! I've had that said to me before too.
    It's such a lame and cowardly way for them to weasel their way out of having to explain to you why and all that.

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  • I have said but I don't think it was lame. It really was me, I felt too insecure and I knew it was putting a strain on our relationship. I told him I wanted to work on myself on my own, but he refused to accept my breakup.

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  • LOL I haven't used the exact phrase "it's not you it's me' but it was pretty close. I just don't want guys to walk away from the relationship feeling sad about themselves. Like it's fine to feel sad that the relationship is ending but I don't feel okay with saying "yeah this is ending because of your failings as both a boyfriend and person."

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    • Your boyfriends know, of course, that you are lying to them.

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    • They are thinking, "She doesn't like me and she doesn't even respect me enough to tell me the truth. She's just telling me a lie because that's easier for her."

    • Meh that's okay with me too. I'm not seeing them again.

  • I've wanted to say: "It's not me, it's you. I can't be the only person who finds you this unbearable."

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  • It's the best excuse I've ever heard, a classic. It's basically just saying "yeah I am done with this, this is me"

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  • I've never been broken up with only ghosted. I'd definitely prefer the whole "it's me not you" deal than hearing nothing. The phrase is still annoying though.

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  • I've heard of that line before. My ex actually broke up with me saying "it's not you, it's me. It took me a while to realize what it mean but I soon got the picture. It's a break up line.

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  • I've heard it and said it. It means "There's absolutely nothing wrong with you and I feel bad that I'm not in love with you, but I'm just not. This just isn't working but it's nothing you did."

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  • I've never heard it, never said it and it juts sounds like an excuse.

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  • H) I have heard this but was too puzzled by it to think lame or violence.

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  • My ex said this to me and I nearly screamed. It's the ultimate vullshit excuse.

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  • >_> C.

    I really wish I could reverse time and get my new sharp 6 inch high heel that time, to kick his ass with it. =.= for real.

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  • I LOVE that song so much (in the pic)
    You have no idea hahaha.

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  • I used to think it was a cliché BS line like they make it out to be. But people grow and change all throughout their lives. Sometimes, when these changes happen, what we want and need will also change.
    It's completely possible, that you're in a relationship with someone amazing, but suddenly realize that you're no longer in the same place, going in different directions, or just want different things from life.
    It's not anyone's fault. No one did anything wrong. It's not them fucking up, it's you changing.
    I've got a saying that I use when I mentor: Clichés are what they are because once upon a time, they were very true, and still just as hard to belive, and that's why everyone knows them. Because they really are save advice, or will have happened to you at least once in your life.

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  • I have never herd the it's not u it's me thing but if I did I would be okay because it means they are not ready yet and u can't force a relationship on a person when they don't want it

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    • You are assuming that you believe the speaker is being sincere. Those who have heard this little gem usually haven't thought our SO was being sincere.

  • It is a common axcuse so I heard it many times

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What Guys Said 3

  • I voted F. :)
    It was somewhere along the lines of "it's not you, it's me..." but more words.

    I had a feeling that she's looking for a brick to hit me in the face with. But it was more complicated in my case and I had to let her go, despite my will. I still loved her and wouldn't have done that, but sometimes life is not fair. Sad
    It ended, haven't been talking at all since then.

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  • Yeah! George invented it! @Hannamyers21 😂😂

    https://youtu.be/2uAj4wBIU-8

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  • Yes, I never bought it.

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