How do I get him back?

He broke up with me almost three weeks ago. He said he was unhappy--it was nothing I was doing, he was just really unhappy. He said he wasn't excited to see me anymore. He said he loved me, but couldn't be with me and he wanted to end it now before we hated each other so we could salvage whatever we may have left. He said he wasn't writing off us getting back together.

I dream about him every single night and it's really taking a tole on my emotional, mental, and even physical health. I am losing so much sleep, I barely eat, I'm depressed all the time.

Our relationship was very serious. We talked about getting married and we had a wedding planned, rings picked out, everything. He wanted to join the Army and then his family talked him out of it, and after that he became very closed off.

I want to talk to him and see if we could get back together. I know that I can't just jump the gun and ask him to be back with me, but I still want to talk to him and see if we could... maybe after a little bit of talking for a while, he'll realize that he wants me back, too.

Do you think it's a good idea? We haven't really spoken in about two weeks and I'm very nervous as to what his reaction will be if I try to talk to him.

And it seems to me that he stays up late to check on me. I've been up late every night to avoid sleeping because it kills me to dream about him all night long. He stays online until very early in the morning, even though he has work, and he'll sign into Facebook every five or so minutes as if to see if I'm still online.

I don't want to read too much into things, but I just want to talk to him and get him back. What should I do? I've thought about talking to him and bringing up our past inside-jokes and things, but I don't know. Things play out perfectly in my head, but I know that will never be the case.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I had a girlfriend who I was with for 5 years.

    I dumped her at least 20 times. But she would always call me a week later and say, quite literally: "I can't live without you, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Please take me back. I'll do anything, I'll do whatever you tell me to do. I'll be your slave. I don't care if you see other women, just don't leave me."

    It worked every time. I took her back. Of course, once we were back together she would stop being so sweet and start acting bitchy and taking me for granted again. So I'd dump her again, and then she'd want me back again etc...

    Are you sure you really want this guy? Or do you just want him because he does not want you? That is the serious question to ask.

    If you really want him, I'd say, do pretty much what my ex did. Go direct. Call and beg. Put yourself out there. Take some risks.

    Playing it cool is something you do when you are flirting with a guy you just met. This is not a guy you just met, this situation calls for honesty. Making relationships work is about total honesty.

    Now, I do not know your situation, so only you can judge if this is the right thing for you to do. I can only tell you that it worked on me many times.

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What Guys Said 4

  • You could try talking to him, at least to find out his real reason for breaking up. If he was in love with you he'd still be with you, but he's not. On the other hand leaving a relationship just because you're unhappy or bored is unreasonable without trying to take steps to fix it, or at least find the cause of the problem. Another possibility is that he is suffering from depression - there's some signs there.

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    • I forgot to mention that I tried to make him feel happy. I did everything he wanted to do and when we broke up, he said it never really helped.

    • Yes he sounds like a real downer. I don't think it would matter what you did once his mind was made up about something. He convinced himself he was unhappy. I wonder why?

  • dont run to him and let him see how much control he has .. because he will take advantage of the situation and use you.. you might think letting him do this to you will bring him back but odds are he won't but we all learn from our mistakes and sometimes we learn from others mistakes so we don't have to feel the pain .. hope it helped some

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  • act like you don't care, it would only reward his actions. still be friendly to him, act like it's no biggee, but stop worrying. like you said you don't want to read into things to much, and that's very healthy and exactly what you want to do.

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  • You could blame it on the wedding plans. You were left at the alter.

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What Girls Said 2

  • girl maybe he's seenin somebody else I don't know but that's wired he say he love you but can't be whit you all bad he don't love you its somethin he not tellin you he just need to keep it real whit you and stop whit the games you don't play whit people feels like that dudez are crazy

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  • OMG 80% same case as me! I am also confused :(

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