The first two weeks were a disaster for me. I decided during the break up that having no contact with him would be best. (I think I'm doing an okay job, I've had no real desire to see him or talk to him.) I started to get somewhat better -- mostly because I had one of the best Christmas's ever despite my recent break up. (I spent Christmas eve with a coworker and we went to see Star Wars on Christmas day.) I even had a pretty damn good New Years eve -- hella hungover, but hella worth it.
I've taken up 3 new dance classes, and my tiny group of friends and I have made an effort to do something at least once a week, every week this year. So I have been busy, very very busy this month. I also booked my summer holidays this year, and I am beyond excited for them.
But over the last few days, I feel this, numb feeling, that I felt when we broke up. I will admit this, although hard, I miss him. But then, when I think about how I miss him, I think about how he hurt me, and how he lied to me, and how he -- chose her over me.
And now I don't know what to feel.
This is what I feared most -- I entered 2017 confident, I didn't feel alone, and I was on top of the world for a few weeks. Now here I am, single, sad, regretful, blue, low, and heart broken -- all over again.
This shit sucks