Well, after a rocky 27 year relationship, she left three months ago, I bought a house three years back, she hasn't worked in six years (core issue for me), but she claims that I haven't "ever" wanted to spend time with her, and that I don't respect her time with friends.
I currently help her financially ($250 monthly), she's been gone three months, we've had a couple of dates, sex once, she stayed at my house four nights, three consecutively, yet she says she's not open to dating anyone.
She has dating profiles online, yet I'm fairly certain that she hasn't actually met anyone, she talks to me about our past for hours, and if I leave her alone for a day, she calls the next day for a friendly chat.
We have two boys, 16/25, I have the youngest as she moved in with her sister. She got a lousy job making minimum wage part-time, but claims she's getting her own place nearby.
I'd like to reconcile, but I'm afraid that she's gone in search of greener pastures, she doesn't show any desire to work out our past issues, including our mutual infidelity, (mine was the last, five years ago), she hasn't recently (2 years) mentioned any issues with felling alone or un-loved, and literally blindsided me when she left, a week and a half after getting her new job.
I've gone through my issues and addressed all of the big-ticket items, but I still can't get past the fact that her unemployment was a non-issue in her opinion, especially after she promised to be a partner in our future, specifically financially.
I don't want to feel like all hope is lost here, but the prognosis is pretty grim from my perspective.
Basically because she hasn't spent time time with our son much either, it's like life got too real for her, but now she's really dug herself a hole, she knows she can't do it alone. So I'm guessing my replacement is on order.
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There are basically two ways to approach this. You've suffered a great loss and are still suffering that loss. From here on, it's all how you approach it.
Get a physical, get a gym membership and get out there, or sit around waiting and wondering when you will be replaced. Do the replacing!0
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