I feel empty without him?

A few months ago I got my very first boyfriend. We dated for only a month. The thing is, that its been 9 months and I can't get over him. Its me who put an end, but still. He was the definition of a player and a f*ck boy. This will sound weird but I am mulatto girl and I always wished my very first boyfriend to be an italian guy... for personal reasons ( something beautiful that happened in my childhood). Fate or not, this guys was italian. He was maybe the only italian from my city. He was my very first kiss ( i told him this), date, everything ( i am 20 years old and he is 23) I did not date till then because I attended a school for girls and my family is kind of strict with me. There is absolutely no chance for us, but I still think of him and can't find no other guy attractive. Nobody is like him in my eyes. I still cry myself to sleep at least once a month because of this. I am social, I have friends, I go out ( rarely, but I do) I am normal, but for some reasons, I can't forget him. I find this is weird because I wanted so bad to end things with him. He treated me good, but he was a liar and had nothing in common with me. I just wanted it to end... and now I feel worthless, mostly because I feel like he thinks that I am pathetic ( for not dating or kissing till 20 as he was my first) He never told me this, but I asume...


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  • Just learn to accept the fact that nothing he did was genuine


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