How to handle the break up?

Need a bit of advice please.

Been with my current girl for 4 months, she had a really bad relationship about 3-4 months before me where the guy cheated on her a few times. She was in a really serious relationship with him and they were living together and talking about children etc.

Apparently she was still finding things out for a while after too and then a month after she got with me and things were great. I noticed when the relationship was getting a bit deeper she would sort of pull back a bit and act a bit distant. This was mainly when I was showing her my affectionate side. This happened on and off she wouldn't like to touch etc, sometimes sex was less frequent, I could feel she was pulling away.

I confronted her about this and she said its totally nothing to do with me as she says im a perfect boyfriend and treat her well etc but my insecurities crept in a bit.

She was away on holiday last month with some mutual friends of ours and she was always on video chat with me saying how much she misses me and can't wait to get back to see me. We had an amazing Christmas with her family etc and things were really great.

Fast forward to now and she split up with me 2 weeks ago and im completely lost. She says she doesn't know how to feel and there is something missing :/

Is it possible that she hasn't healed from her last relationship where she was treated bad and I've come into her life and treated her well and she's getting scared because were getting a bit serious? Its the only explanation I can come up with by myself as she has stated she was happy in the relationship.

We met up last week to discuss things and she is still confused she says, i just said im here for you if you need I dont wanna lose her out my life. She wants to meet up again tomorrow, what is the best way to handle this?

I can't hang around forever but I feel I can't just give up on her so easily, specially when I dont even know the cause of all this and neither does she by the sounds of it.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Try and distract yourself


What Guys Said 1

  • In my opinion she clearly has some stuff going on, you'll never be able to understand or guess what it is so why waste your time trying. What I would do is totally back away.. give her all the space and let her contact you, she should do 70% of the effort calling etc. do not keep telling her you'll always be there for her etc. you need to stand your ground and you've already made it clear how you feel.. you do not want to be a back up option


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