Are the reasons for cheating different in males vs. females?

My husband asked me, would I go elsewhere if I wasn't getting satisfaction in bed, I said I'm pretty sure no woman alive has cheated due to sexual frustration alone. Now I'm curious if I'm alone in this view point, not sure how to poll it without bias but here's a go...

  • Not getting enough sexual satisfaction would cause me to cheat
    19%(11)35%(33)Vote63%(22)
  • Not getting enough emotional satisfaction would cause me to cheat
    81%(47)65%(60)Vote37%(13)
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • " I said I'm pretty sure no woman alive has cheated due to sexual frustration alone " Totally agree here , on average , women have much lower sex drives than men do , due to both biology & also sex-negative social conditioning , affecting the more emotional female brain more. I would say lack of emotional validation would be the main reason for a woman cheating , followed by gaining more resources , via another man.

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    • Not sure about the resources vis another man thing personally but I did consider that idea as a third poll option just due to human adaptation and the biological drive to be in the best position for survival. But woman seem to allow emotional connection to over ride survival instincts often in my experience and observations.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Women generally cheat because of the lack of attention and men cheat because of the lack of sexual satisfaction or because he feel unattractive and need to bang a young girl to make him feel better / attractive.

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What Guys Said 19

  • I want to go with neither option.

    Guys are programmed to cheat, crudely speaking. They're not programmed by nature for monogamy. It's why, before the invention of monogamy, you'd have polygamist societies where the richest and most powerful men often took hundreds, thousands, sometimes even tens of thousands of wives.

    It's in the biology for guys to sleep with as many fertile women as they possibly can. Our survival depended on it. It wouldn't be very good for our survival if you had a population of 1 male and 10 females and he decided to only sleep with one of them and stay with her forever. The optimal strategy for survival here is for him to sleep with and attempt to impregnate all 10 women.

    So the question is not so much why do men cheat, but why don't mean cheat? Why do they decide to just stick with one woman for the rest of their lives when it defies their natural programming?

    And for me that's just love for my wife. If I compare her to food, she's like my favorite meal in the world. However, all kinds of other food out there tempt me even though it's not my favorite for the simple reason that it's different. The thing that makes me avoid acting on those temptations is remembering how much I still love my favorite food. All the things that inspire me to love her from sexual fulfillment to emotional attachment all help in reminding me that no other food in the world is worth sampling if it could jeopardize eating my favorite food ever again.

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    • Another thing that helps in my case is that I'm not a superstar. I don't have hot women offering to have sex with me with no strings attached on a daily basis. If I did, I'm not sure I'd be strong enough to resist. I hope I can, I can't say for sure I can.

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    • @wittymilf I believe so. I'm not so different when I'm solo. When I'm with a pack usually it becomes more pronounced since there are other guys pointing these things out to me when I'm more likely to mind my own business as much as possible, but the sight of a woman exposed tends to trigger those kinds of urges -- they're shallow and tend to fade away as quickly as they come, but it's a dumb thing I have.

      Here is a weird part though. I've been to strip clubs at times on these nights -- not so often lately but at my bachelor's party, for example, and somehow I don't get sexual thoughts in these places when I'm blatantly surrounded by naked women.

      There I'm definitely an oddball though, since I've talked to guys about how strip clubs don't arouse me at all, that I just appreciate the site of nude women without thinking sexually about them, and they look at me like I'm crazy.

      It might be due to my visual arts background. I got used to drawing the nude female figure.

    • @wittymilf In that sense I'm more likely to get aroused looking at a girl in a bikini than topless or completely naked, for example, when there's something there to remove. The dark thoughts I have usually relate to that idea of removing something.

  • I don't know how to answer

    Constant sexual rejection is the driver. But it's not like I need help getting an orgasm. I want to feel desire and lust and share it.

    Is that sexual or emotional? Probably sexual but it's not physical.

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    • This is thought provoking, I think men and woman ultimately have sex for emotional reasons, possibly men measure desire by the physical action of sex where as woman measure it by time and emotional connection. We are all driven to have sex because we feel good when we are desired perhaps.

  • I have known several women who cheated because of sexual frustration. To say that they don't need that need filled (for lack of a better word) seems out of touch.

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  • I have actually known a woman that cheated only because of sexual issues. She had no desire to leave her husband as he satisfied her in every other way. but she was going crazy because he has issues.
    I think the usual reasons are the same for both. The reason it is a lot worse when women cheat is, from my understanding, that women need an emotional connection to have sex. Men can fuck anything and have no attachment to that woman at all. It can just not mean anything. but women get invested in the person they are going to cheat with. That makes it so much worse.
    In the end, both are complete pieces of shit that need to be thrown away. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

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  • Everybody knows that if you never please your woman, she will magically fall out of love with you and even if she doesn't "cheat" per se, she's no longer really in the relationship with you anymore.

    And eventually, I believe about 95% of women in that situation would eventually cheat if the opportunity arose. Once you can't please her, she falls out of love with you and loses all respect for you, and even if she's not cheating, she's going to treat you worse and worse every day.

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    • So this is how men think when there woman isn't pleasing them?

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    • So it's better when they're asleep?

    • Maybe not better, but try having sex with a sleeping man.

  • In my case, it was because of unresolved conflicts in the relationship. We had financial issues that she didn't care to address, her and I became distant because of these issues, and someone else caught my eye, amongst other parts of my anatomy.

    It was the biggest mistake of my life. I did that five years back, and my ex finally left me over that and other issues.

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  • I would not cheat. I would just break up in either case.

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  • nah, being an asshole that doesn't think of their partner makes them cheat. if they are not satisfying you, make an effort to communicate and give them some time. if they still aren't, end the relationship. I don't care if you have a kid with them or not, don't stay for the sake of the child, if you are going to cheat. Just end it. Don;t be a piece of filth

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  • I know a bit about the science behind it, but is it possible to put a 'view results' option?

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  • Emotional attraction and fulfillment has by very definition nothing to do with sexual orientation, once again showing women don't actually have sexual orientation, just an amorphous mess based on narcissistic sexual self affirmation.

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  • Isn't it more complex that that? Isn't it a combination of lots of things, each case of cheating has its own set of reasons?

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  • No, it the same on both sides. See when you do sex in marriage. You do not have this problem.

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  • flirting and sexting Is not cheating to me but is a pre-lude to cheating however. Dick in a girl is cheating and kissing is fround upon

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  • well, you do not get one with the other. unless you are cold hearted.

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  • I would like to be cheated on if I can't satisfy her

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  • That's a great question I don't really know the answer for. I cheated once after 11 years of marriage and there was obviously sexual dissatisfaction BUT there was also a lot of emotional dissatisfaction, not lack of love! Maybe sexual dissatisfaction alone wouldn't have been enough...

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  • I think it's all about emotions. I think it's about the heart not the brain because you'd never cheat on a good woman who loved you. At least I wouldn't.

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  • This is a trick question because sexual satisfaction and emotional satisfaction are almost the same thing for men.

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  • not being milked regularly would obviously be a reason to dump/cheat... no sex, no woman

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What Girls Said 11

  • I don't see any differences other than the genitals. Whether a cheater cheats because they weren't satisfied sexually or emotionally, they were still selfish.

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    • Sure, I'm not wanting to justify cheating, just understand the mentality behind it.

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    • I guess it all boils down to who was more selfish; the spouse who denied sex to their partner in the first place, or the rejected one who searched it out from another.

    • Maybe you should pose that as a question, it's interesting. Obviously there is a bias against the cheater but who knows how people would really feel if they weren't afraid of other people's judgement.

  • Nothing would cause me to cheat. I don't understand why it is so hard for people to just break up with someone if they aren't happy.

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  • I think I'd break up with him before cheating if it got that desperate.

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  • No I would never cheat but I may suggest we experiment.

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  • I just don't understand why you wouldn't discuss the problems, try to come up with a solution and only then if everything failed - Break up?

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  • I think they are quite similar, but its probably less work for women to cheat then it is for men, so women who cheat feel like they need a deep reason and men who cheat just need an opportunity.

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  • Oh come on, sexual satisfication is important but still, i would never cheat, instead, i would discuss it with him.

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  • tbh, i chose B, but in reality i wouldn't cheat. If i'm unsatisfied with the relationship, I'd need to have a talk with the person and if it still wouldn't work out... I'll break up with that person.

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  • I don't see any reason but excuses

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  • Yes, I have cheated primarily out of sexual frustration. But it wasn't due to sexual frustration alone! I spoke to him about my frustrations (we were only having sex about three times a year at that point), and he wasn't interested in trying to remedy the problem. I found out later that it was because he was sleeping with someone else. And because I talked him about it and nothing got better, there was an element of emotional frustration as well. But we are all responsible for our own ability or inability to handle ourselves and keep both our desires and emotions in check. I own my mistakes. Anyone who cheats can only blame themselves. That being said, I don't have any regrets about cheating, either.

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  • there are many women who cheat just because of sexual dissatisfaction, but they tell they cheat just because of emotional satisfaction LOL
    Actually they want to hide their real face...
    because if women go for sex they get really really bad reputation but if they tell it's emotional cause then they get sympathy.
    Sex = slut
    Emotion = LOL pure lady

    what is actually emotional satisfaction can you tell me?
    women also can give emotional satisfaction to women, so there is no need to cheat...

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    • Hey what's your opinion on guys who cheat?

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    • I'm not about soft and hard... I'm rational
      Both can cheat for dissatisfaction.
      emotional satisfaction and sexual satisfaction is just a word...
      dissatisfaction is they main cause. but don't know about which dissatisfaction.

    • we (as men) are only as faithful as our options

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