I can't get over him. Is something wrong with me?

We've been friends for years but I fell really hard for him. He told me he felt the same and we were starting to get serious. His ex treated him like shit, cheated on him and dumped him repeatedly for the guys she cheated with. She came back after we had been dating for a couple of months and said she wanted to work things out. He didn't tell me this, I found out because she made their relationship Facebook official. I confronted him about it, he apologized, told me that he had been cutting back on our time together to spend time with her and that she's changed and he wants another go with her. Then he told me that he still wanted me as a friend (which I told him to duck off because the friendship was over now). I reminded him of all she did to him in the past and he said he didn't care. He told me that I am a good woman and that I will find another man (but now I have trust issues because of him).

We have mutual friends, one of whom posted a congratulatory picture of the engagement ring he gave her. I also found out that he was taking her on romantic dates and buying her expensive gifts while I was lucky to get a cup of coffee every now and then. I thought I was over it until the engagement happened and it all came back. Is this normal? I don't want him back, I just don't know how to get over the pain he caused me and if it's normal to still hurt after all these months.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Its perfectly normal to want what you can't have, you really need to think logically about this as it seems you are the only one with any sense here.. that relationship will not work by any means, I'm not saying wait around but its only a matter of time before she starts treating him like shit again. You need to accept he doesn't appreciate you and realise your self worth, focus on you and begin to move on

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    • Yeah we all tried to tell him that but he insists that she's changed and that it's going to be different this time. I'm not hurting as much as I was when I posted this a few days ago thankfully. I will never understand why some guys (and women too) keep going back to the girl who treats them like garbage thinking that every time is going to be different but to each their own I suppose lol.

  • How long ago did you break up? When did u start dating? When did he first break up with her?

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    • We broke up in August after dating for almost a year. He and she have been on and off for over ten years, she always did the dumping and then came back to him whenever she felt like it and he always took her back.

    • He's a creature of habit and emotional trauma. You will get over him eventually.

What Girls Said 1

  • Yes it's usual. It will just take some and it usually last a while unless you try to keep yourself preoccupied. It happened to me a year ago & I'm completely fine now. I promise you once you get over him it'll feel like you're on cloud nine. Almost every female goes through this. Keep your head strong.

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