I don't want to self destruct over this guy or because of my sad life. How do I cope? I have no coping skills except to self destruct, and man oh man I miss those days. I'm suffering. I can't even get a cat because I still live with mom (Im 20) and she's allergic. My life is sad and depressing and I don't know how much longer I can take it. The problems keep piling up and I have a stupid therapist and my mom has her own issues. I love him and he loves me. He said 'I won't tell you I love you yet because I made that mistake too soon before' but he hasn't even said he wanted me as his boyfriend. I want to drink my problems away or go on disability and become a druggie on the street in summer. Why am I writing this bullshit on here?
Because no one else gives a shit and my heart and soul hurts.
I already want to make the noose because I'm definitely cursed. In this day and age, you can't be a romantic without getting hurt. No, there won't be other guys and don't say that because nothing ever goes right and it takes me forever to find a guy. I can't move on easily I suppose. I am a fucking Romeo. I'll probably end up in rehab or the psych ward (again) one day.
Please help me get over this? I need a drink even though it's only 10:10AM and I start my volunteer shift soon. My soulmate and lovers are non existent in this shitty ass lifetime. Worse part? I was so stressed the other day that I smoked all of my damn weed (5 buds worth). Pls, are there any hitmen out here on this site that I can hire to kill me? I'm too afraid of failure (again) of commiting suicide... as I am not afraid of Death or anything else.