Okay so here's the scoop. I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I met him online and we live about an hour apart from each other. At first he was driving to my place a few times a week and everything was great. After about 6-9 months we were seeing each other just on the weekends. Then he started having plans on the weekends with friends so we were literally seeing each other 2-3 times a month. He was fine with this and professed his love to me and I felt like we were really growing apart. Anyways, a guy from church asked me out for coffee so I went. I really liked him after we hung out a few times and just wanted a local b/f. I haven't had a local b/f in 5 years, good guys are hard to find in my area. It's slim pickings! So I dumped my b/f and pursued this new relationship. Long story short we hooked up and it didn't work out. I honestly really missed my ex b/f. Then I avoided guys and hung out with my male b/f. We've been platonic friends for 3 years. Somehow we ended up making out and hooked up on day and it was the worst!!! I don't find him attractive at all. I still talked to my ex b/f through the 6 months after we broke up. We just have this connection and it was really hard for both of us. Recently, we've been having make up sex and it's literally the best sex of my life. I feel guilty though because he doesn't know about my hookups during our 6 month break. Should I tell him? Is it considered cheating? What would you do? I know he would be devestated and this is something he couldn't get over. I feel like if I tell him it's doing nothing but hurting our relationship and I really want things to work out between us. I know this sounds weird but I feel like I appreciate him more now then ever.
Most Helpful Guy
It's not cheating and you did nothing wrong but you should tell him, he will find out eventually anyway and finding out from you upfront will be MUCH better then hearing about it some other way.
The reason you don't want to tell him is because you're afraid he will think he is your second choice and that you will walk out on him to have sex with other men when things get hard, even your guy friends that you're not attracted too.
The thing is though is that is a pretty big part of who you are and if he can;t accept that about you then you will never stop being afraid of loosing him and will never be able to to let go and love each other fully.0
Most Helpful Girl
As someone who's been in your position but on the other side of it (my ex was the one sleeping around), I say if he's not caring to ask you about it, I don't see why you should volunteer the information. Why? Because once you're single, you're no longer entitled to know one another's personal business. For all you know, he could've been doing the same thing. Point is, you were both clearly broken up so you did nothing wrong by trying to move on.
Now, if during that time you were still talking to him in a way you feel could be taken as leading him on, or if he's outright asked you if you did, then I feel like that's where honesty is typically the best policy. My ex didn't want to tell me about it at first (and looking back, I realize I shouldn't have asked and just left it alone) but he eventually did tell me the truth, and what hurt like hell was not that he had hooked up with other people but that he had lied about it.0