Should you tell your b/f if you hooked up during a breakup period? Is it cheating?

Okay so here's the scoop. I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I met him online and we live about an hour apart from each other. At first he was driving to my place a few times a week and everything was great. After about 6-9 months we were seeing each other just on the weekends. Then he started having plans on the weekends with friends so we were literally seeing each other 2-3 times a month. He was fine with this and professed his love to me and I felt like we were really growing apart. Anyways, a guy from church asked me out for coffee so I went. I really liked him after we hung out a few times and just wanted a local b/f. I haven't had a local b/f in 5 years, good guys are hard to find in my area. It's slim pickings! So I dumped my b/f and pursued this new relationship. Long story short we hooked up and it didn't work out. I honestly really missed my ex b/f. Then I avoided guys and hung out with my male b/f. We've been platonic friends for 3 years. Somehow we ended up making out and hooked up on day and it was the worst!!! I don't find him attractive at all. I still talked to my ex b/f through the 6 months after we broke up. We just have this connection and it was really hard for both of us. Recently, we've been having make up sex and it's literally the best sex of my life. I feel guilty though because he doesn't know about my hookups during our 6 month break. Should I tell him? Is it considered cheating? What would you do? I know he would be devestated and this is something he couldn't get over. I feel like if I tell him it's doing nothing but hurting our relationship and I really want things to work out between us. I know this sounds weird but I feel like I appreciate him more now then ever.

0|0
137

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not cheating and you did nothing wrong but you should tell him, he will find out eventually anyway and finding out from you upfront will be MUCH better then hearing about it some other way.

    The reason you don't want to tell him is because you're afraid he will think he is your second choice and that you will walk out on him to have sex with other men when things get hard, even your guy friends that you're not attracted too.

    The thing is though is that is a pretty big part of who you are and if he can;t accept that about you then you will never stop being afraid of loosing him and will never be able to to let go and love each other fully.

    0|0
    0|0
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

Most Helpful Girl

  • As someone who's been in your position but on the other side of it (my ex was the one sleeping around), I say if he's not caring to ask you about it, I don't see why you should volunteer the information. Why? Because once you're single, you're no longer entitled to know one another's personal business. For all you know, he could've been doing the same thing. Point is, you were both clearly broken up so you did nothing wrong by trying to move on.

    Now, if during that time you were still talking to him in a way you feel could be taken as leading him on, or if he's outright asked you if you did, then I feel like that's where honesty is typically the best policy. My ex didn't want to tell me about it at first (and looking back, I realize I shouldn't have asked and just left it alone) but he eventually did tell me the truth, and what hurt like hell was not that he had hooked up with other people but that he had lied about it.

    0|0
    0|0
    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • Well I would tell him, I mean if you think he'll take it hard now, don't you think he will take it even harder after he finds out about it on his own? Though if you are confident he never will, then I suppose that's your choice.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's always good to be honest. Just make sure he knows that it was your decision to tell him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell your boyfriend that he has got best cock in the world lol

    1|0
    0|0
  • No one has time to read that

    0|0
    1|0
  • of course not,
    he can do everything when alone

    0|0
    0|0
  • No it's not cheating but you should tell him.

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 12

  • yes its consider cheating because you're messing with his emotions. You broke up with him to persue a new guy and just waltz back into his life as if the reason was anything other than that. Tell him the real reason you ended it in the first place and if he's smart he'll leave your ass

    0|0
    0|0
  • Have you ever seen the show Friends? This reminds me of the Ross and Rachel "We were on a break" thing! So technically, if you guys were on a break and were broken up for a period of time, you did nothing wrong. You are allowed to explore your options.

    1|0
    0|0
  • on a break means that you are not in a relationship, therefore it's not cheating unless you two specifically agreed that you couldn't sexy-time others while on said break.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Full disclosure is good it's not cheating if you're on a break Rachel but some guys would care plus no one wants to hear it from someone else

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you were not together I wouldn't bring it up, what good could possibly come of it? Some things are better left unsaid

    0|0
    0|0
  • The question now is are guys even together now or are you two just hooking up? Another thing while you guys were separated for those six months were you and your ex boyfriend still having sex? I've been on the other side of this and even tho we were separated we still communicated with each other and we where still having sex and he was telling me he wanted to be with me all while he was exploring the other fish in the sea and I felt like he was cheating on me and In the long run it hurt our relationship I couldn't forgive him for awhile but adventaully got over it, it's truly up to you if you can live with not telling him then don't tell him but if you can't better now then later

    0|0
    0|0
  • it's not cheating. No need to tell him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Nope

    0|0
    0|0
  • If it clears your conscious, I guess. But... it might hurt him badly, and maybe make him think less of you. You know that in your head, you thought it was over. He may not look at you the same, especially if you guys broke up in a short period before you slept with another.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No. There's no point bringing it up now

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wouldn't. One time my ex and I broke up for a bit and then got back together. At one point when we were still on a break we were sitting at lunch talking and he started telling me about this girl he wanted to make out with at a party that past weekend. I was like "AHH! Keep that sh*t to yourself!" I also thought about hooking up with other people and probably wouldn't have told him if I did. No point.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No not cheating, no need to tell

    0|1
    0|0

Recommended myTakes

Loading...