Boyfriend has depression and randomly flips out at me, should I call it a day?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. After about 5 months he started acting really strange and telling me he was going to give me space completely out of the blue. He eventually told me he suffered with depression and didn't want to tell me because he didn't want me to look at him any differently, and that it has always affected his relationship with girls. It was fine for a while and then when we got to about November, he just changed completely. He started freaking out that I was cheating on him. He's go crazy if I didn't reply to a whatsapp message straight away. He'd say I was following the same pattern as his ex gfs (who he said had all cheated on him after about 8 months) and he could see the same thing happening again. He would constantly tell me he was giving me space when I didn't need it and tell me that he doesn't make me happy. I have never known anybody so insecure. I have tried so many times to understand it but we just seem to constantly argue. Earlier today I asked what time he was finishing work and said I'd go and meet him for dinner. That suddenly turned into him shouting at me saying I always expect him to pay for me. Which then turned into him saying I onlt pay for you because you haven't got much money. Then he said forget valentines and forget our trip to London. I'm f*****g unbelievable. I don't care about him. Just f*****g forget the whole thing...

I offer to pay every single time we go out... all I asked was to meet him for dinner! WTF!!! Am I going insane?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Is there any reason to think that this behavior will improve over time? Are you prepared to spend the rest of your life living with someone like this?

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    • This is what my mum says. It's so difficult because his heart is in the right place and it all stems from his childhood. He says he's always been abandoned and that's all he really knows. But he inadvertently pushes people away so he's always going to end up on his own. He's always telling me off saying I'm never wrong and I can't see his point of view. But if I'm being honest, I can't! I can't sit there and apologise for something I don't even know I'm doing wrong...

    • Is he doing anything to work on himself and try to fix the problem?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Abort mission, abort mission, this man is not fit for a relationship.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You can't help someone who doesn't want to get helped.
    If he flips, step away, let him know you can be reached, but don't hang around if you both don't want to be there.

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    • I know. I said to him not long ago he needed to speak to someone about it. He just says he has done before but it didn't help. I've tried so hard not to label him with depression because he said it's always affected his relationships and the girls have always cheated on him. But what's even more weird is his relationships are all April - January? He seems to get to a certain point and then everything just goes downhill... so with him saying "the same pattern is happening again". It's clearly something he's doing not me, right?

    • It may be something happening TO him not done BY him. Winter is a tough time for depressed people, he does need help, but it's not easy to know what kind.

  • Yea, he needs prayer👏

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