Can a victims abuser love them?

I have my doubts. He's hit me multiple times but always says he loves me after and that sometimes I just ask for it because I was patronizing him. There's no doubt in my mind that I'm in love with him and don't tell me I don't know what love is. Plus I know this isn't healthy but I can't stay mad or be away from him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • he's controlling you an manipulating you into thinking this way. I bet he never did in the beginning of your relationship. I bet he was nice and sweet and a true gentlemen. Well now he's showing his true colors. You should seek those who've been in similar situations. You are in love with the old him and think he can change. High chance he won't ever change.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • classic case of abuse. get out now! it will get worse. he's using you to feel power over you. that is not love. love is considering the other's needs and wanting to empower them to be the best person they can be in this world. instead he is keeping you hostage because you think you can't leave him. his manipulation is working on you already since you are still there! he doesn't love you. he loves power and control over you. would you want your daughter to be controlled, abused and disrespectful by a man too?

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • No, this is not love; this about power. He tells you that he loves you because that's how he will control you.

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  • You're in love with the thought of him. But he's not what you think.
    Abusers are capable of love, sure, but they're highly toxic and should not be remained with under any situation.
    Please dump him, for your own good. You'll get someone way better than him I promise.

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  • Of course not.

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  • no. abusers are garbage that should be thrown away with the rest

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  • Yes - He loves putting foot to your ass.

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What Girls Said 2

  • This is my problem with this question: "can a victims abuser"..."I can't be away from him". Then you can't play the victim card. You have the choice to leave. By choosing to stay you're no longer a victim.

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    • What am I then?

    • To be blunt stupid. A stupid girl. And I'm not being mean, I've been in the same boat and been the stupid girl who listened to every "I'm sorry and I love you and I just can't live without you" and all the other BS. Leave. He isn't going to change, it will only get worse, and pray you don't end up pregnant before you get out. Leave. It may hurt, it may be hard, you may feel like you just can't do it without him by your side, because you probably love him more than you love you. Love yourself more and cut him loose. Cry, hurt, take one baby step at a time but leave and when you can finally see clearly it will feel like a burden has been lifted. It's so liberating to feel free and healthy again. To love yourself again. Good luck.

  • It's normal to feel that way men that do this make u feel like it's your fault when really it's his walking on egg shells no fun. I've been in your shoes it don't get better you will never be 100%happy

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