Why would he contact me shortly after a break-up?

Break Up & Divorce

We dated only a while, everything went just perfect, but then he told me he´s not ready for a relationship. On the other day he contacted me and asked how I was. Next day he contacted me again and asked me if we can have a lunch together (it will be tomorrow).

There was a strong attraction on the beginning and we are able to talk for hours, but we slept together on a third date and then he became distant..

I was completely cool about the entire situation, I told him I respect his decission even though I think it is not a good decission (but I didn´t try to convince him). So why is he still contacting me?

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Why would he contact me shortly after a break-up?
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What Guys Said 2

  • has he been hurt in the past or just through a breakup? If he really likes you, just be careful, don't immediately sleep with him, see how things go for a few dates. If he's interested enough in you, he will continue to try to see you. Does he date multiple women? If so, that's another reason he's not ready for a relationship, be careful there, I dated a woman who was a serial dater, it really hurt me, always felt like I was competing for her, will never do it again.

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    • Yes, he told me that he was really hurt by his ex and just got out of casual relationship and girl is still emotionally blackmailing him. The problem is that we already slept together (for both of us it felt really natural, as the connection was strong, but then he told me that this is too fast). When he broke up with me he even told me that he will come back, and it made me even more confused, so I jokingly told him "and you will find me here with my man and kids". I really like him and would take him back, but at the same time I don´t know his intentions and if I can trust him. I know he is not using me for sex, as he is not initiating it at all. And he told me that he was home entire weekend sleeping and reading (which means he is probably not seeing anybody, but I did not ask - I assumed I have no right to investigate)

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    • In my opinion, I would just take things very slowly, if he has someone that is still hurting him, he is not going to be able to focus on a relationship, he could end up constantly comparing you to her in his mind. If you want to continue things, go out on some dates, but don't get so involved in it that takes up your life. You two could still see about dating exclusively, but not getting into a devoted relationship. If conversations get to the subject of his ex early on, he isn't over her, change the subject. If she is still a part of his life, then that can become a big problem, never once in my life have I had a relationship that, if they were still friends with an ex, did they not end up going back to them. Even I myself realized that though I tried to stay friends with an ex while in a new relationship, I had to let that friendship go, it was only going to cause distrust. Sex, I can't speak for all men, I've always waited until a relationship. Many don't

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  • You basically said it.. to sleep with you again and again and again.. and then become distant for a while and then repeat the process..

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    • He doesn´t initiate intimacy at all. He even wants to meet outside of my/his place and says that he really likes me. That´s why I´m so confused - what does he want, if he doesn´t initiate sex?

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    • He may not initiate it, but knowing how you feel about him, he could be playin you. Maybe you should refrain from sex and maybe he needs time to figure things out.

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