Being friends with ex?

My ex and I were really close friends for a few years before we started dating, we dated for almost 3 years, then had a pretty messy breakup. No cheating or anything like that, just a lot of "I love you but this really isn't working for me" on both sides. He was very emotionally immature when it came to relationships and claimed that our "timing was off", that he wished we had gotten together at a later point in life (we were 22), and that I was "too much of a distraction for him at that point in his life." Some of the things that happened because of the way these things manifested themselves were what made me walk away and him not fight for it. This was about 2 years ago, it broke my heart, and we didn't really keep in touch.

Recently, he texted me asking to meet and catch up. The last I had heard, he'd moved on, and so had I. We have a ton of mutual friends so it makes our aggressive need to avoid each other awkward, so I figured it could be time to try and become friends again, like we were before we dated.

We met up for a drink and one of our mutual friends actually joined us so it really wasn't awkward, we talked and had a good time. Afterwards, he texted me saying it was good to see me and that he had wanted to talk to me more privately, and maybe we could meet up soon and do that.

I really do want to be friends again so I was fine with how we hung out, anything more personal would've felt like rekindling a romance. Which then makes me wonder about his intentions and whether this is all just going to lead up to me getting hurt again.

What are your thoughts? Is it possible to be friends with an ex? Are there certain standards in terms of length of time that has passed, whether you have to hang out in big groups, etc?


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What Guys Said 2

  • No it's not possible for guys to be friends with an ex.

    It's one of two options, either he misses the sex, or he misses you. Only you will know the answer to this question and it's your choice how you want to proceed.

  • Bring friends with an ex makes it harder on a new relationship. Grow up!


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