Who should be hurting more after this break up?


I just broke up after 2.5 months of dating her. I found out she cheated on me. Long story short we were at a bar sitting next to each other and her phone was on the counter top. Someone called and I saw the name "Joe" she answered and quickly said I'll call you back bye but before she hung up I heard a "I love you" from the guy.

So Iasked her right away who's the guy that just said I love you. She said it was her ex.

To be fair she got a divorce last year and said she still talks to her ex because of issues going on and her stuff still being at the house they had out of state. Problem is her exes name is Chris not Joe she told me about Chris before. I didn't say anything about me seeing who called - so she just lied right there to my face.

So I did some detective work and found out this Joe works with her I messaged him on Facebook and he said he was considered her boyfriend as well! She didn't have any pictures or relationship info on her page because she told me her ex would harass me if she did that. That should of been a red flag that she was hiding something right there but I was blinded.

I literally did nothing wrong to this girl and she lied and cheated. She did have a horrible past of being mollested at an early age but I can't feel sorry for her. She didn't tell me about her past until 2 months into seeing each other. She refused to take medications, didn't go to counseling, didn't see a psychologist or psychiatrist, etc. She didn't get the help she needed. I feel like she had zero business dating or getting into a relationship if she had a problem and couldn't commit. Rather she lied and cheated and hurt me in the process.

Who usually hurts more in a break up the person who put all the effort and got back stabbed or the person that did the backstabbing and lying and cheating?
Who should be hurting more after this break up?
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