Boyfriend wants to feel like the "manly man" and be in control more..

but I have a hard time given up control, I do really try tho, what are some situations I could let him control so he feels better?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Rather than "giving up control" why not share the influence of leadership?

    Maybe he picks out the place you both go to the movies, but you decide what movie to watch.

    An alternative being that you both choose together at the same time:

    You: "John I really want to see robin hood"

    Him: "Well I want to see letters to juliet" (Haha weird role swap?!)

    You: "I heard that's a good movie but how about we see letters to juliet first and then robin hood afterwards?"

    Him: "I really don't want to see that movie."

    You: "That's okay, I'll see letters to juliet with you and if you change your mind you can join me for Robin hood later"

    Him: "Okay"

    It's basically "compromising"; but it sounds like your boyfriend is a little less of a leader but demanding the power, my assumption is that conversations usually go like:

    You: "John I really want to see robin hood"

    Him: "Well I want to see letters to juliet. But... I guess I can go with you"

    You: "If you don't want to go babe you don't have to"

    Him: "Well I just don't see why you always steal my thunder. I never get to choose where we go/what we see/when we see it. You're always making the decisions"

    etc

    If that's the case- haha good @#$%ing luck. There's only a few things you can do at that point:

    1) Deal with it and pray it changes

    2) Compromise more and let him be the leader (which'll annoy the crap outta you)

    3) Teach him how to be a leader and make decisions ("John, where do you want to go?")

    4) Move on

    etc

    Take care,

    Charming

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    • Thanks for the advice, usually I come off as controlling because he gets to be childish in a situation where you shouldnt be and so I take over everything to make sure good decisions are made. I can relax to but usually he acts like he wants me to make the decision and then later complains :P

    • Your welcome :)

      Haha sadly I can relate completely. Sometimes we aren't aware of our behaviors, but something to also keep in mind is that at younger ages human's haven't had the time to further develop their judgement calls. It sounds like your parents have had you working on your independency (taking care of yourself) for a while; so it will take him a short time to catch up.

      Just be patient and it'll change in time =P

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • w/e tell him to grow up...you are not supposed to try to change people..women always get accused of this ..if he wants to fee like a man- why do you have to change..his solution is right in front of him - he can ACT like one- a man..its absurd that you should dumb down because he wants to suck his thumb..w/e... its up to you but I think it is rediculous & pretty sexist.

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  • during sex

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    • So in other words if I let him dominate in bed he won't be as threatened by my control in everyday situations?

    • Show All
    • Not unbearably he just gets childish sumtims and I start being controlling and serious to balanced it out

    • Sometimes when he's being childish try to relax and let loose a little bit and be a little childish with him.. you won't seem controlling but laid back and he'll love it

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