Can you pinpoint why your previous relationships ended, to recognise or prevent the fixable things from happening again? Can you share why they ended?

Hindsight is a beautiful thing - what have you learnt from previous relationships ending? Things to look out for next time or things that you personally need to be mindful of?


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Most Helpful Guy

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  • My first relationship, we plain incompatible, mistake made once, won't be made again.

    My 2nd one, I was doing all the chasing. Despite him wanting a relationship and tell me I love you 1st, I seemed to be doing all the work. I will now be letting the guy do some work as well and I won't be so available (at least at first).

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What Guys Said 21

  • The last big one, in my opinion, was lack of emotional maturity on both sides. We had a tendency to escalate and escalate petty arguments needlessly. It became much worse when we started living together in a small apartment.

    That said, just from my side, I lacked emotional maturity. I didn't have it in me to be the bigger person back then and deescalate conflicts. I was too obsessed with my own subjective notions of fair treatment which didn't match with hers.

    I behaved poorly in ways that I tried to justify after the break-up, only to then realize that there was no justification. Any person that says, "I behaved poorly because [...]" is generally failing in terms of accountability, since they're trying to paint a scenario where poor behavior is excusable. I came to realize this after losing a dearest girlfriend (a fiancee, actually) and started changing my ways.

    The biggest lessons I learned from that was accountability, emotional maturity and self-discipline, and also letting go of the notion of perfect fairness in favor of constantly seeking ways to improve the relationship instead of "set it straight". I also started to value a more affectionate and gentle type of communication.

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  • Yeah my first two relationships ended because I didn't have enough self-worth at the time. I didn't realize how awesome I am as a person because I allowed some women to walk all over me. I probably wouldn't have gotten into those relationships knowing what I do now. They were a mistake before they even started. My last one ended because we are different people with different priorities in life which is fine. There's no hard feelings there. Sometimes people just don't work out and there's no awful breakup or negative fallout. I've only had a few girlfriends so that's all I can really speak about.

    I've been on dates that didn't work out with other women but that was more obvious as to why they didn't lead anywhere.

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  • There was a problem with sexual compatibility. We werent compatible so i finished it eventually. I guess the problem can be prevented in the future by good communication. If the girl would be open about her sexuality and also confident in her sexuality much could be prevented.

    Also girls tend to assume i only want sex while this isn't true, i haven't found a solution for this yet. Maybe i should hide my sex drive better or something.

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    • I don't think there's anything wrong with a high sex drive. The problem is when guys want lots of sex but then they don't spend time with the girl. You gotta give both.

    • @225Taylor we lived far apart and i had to go see her by train. It was 40 minutes. But we did all sorts of activities though.

  • I wish I could. But the ladies never talked to me about it so I don't know. But I am dying to know so I can learn what to do better next time.

    I don't know if this was the cause of the break-up but I remember I was being funny about leaving my shirt at her house one day and wouldn't stop making jokes, when in fact she was very serious about the issue.

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  • Yes, I know why every relationship ended, because I was the one to end them.
    I'm not gonna say why, because every time I do I get a huge load of downvotes lol

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  • Oh man this is going to be fun lol
    1st - Never date in 4th grade, especially fight over a
    2nd - If she's embarrassed that you just gave her a present because you liked her, don't ask her out.
    3rd - Don't date a girl just because she's pretty. Make sure she isn't crazy first. Or at least attempt to figure it out.
    4th - Don't date someone when you have the hots for all of their friends too.
    5th - If you're afraid she will hit you if you say no, say no, being punched doesn't hurt much.
    6th - Never trust a girl that looks at your friend a certain way. And never trust a friend if he's eying your girl. Oh yeah and never be bestfriends with a slut.
    7th - if she's not crazy about you dump her.
    8th - Don't say yes just because you don't know how to say no. Be a man.
    9th - Don't date someone because they want to have sex all the time, chances are they want to have sex when you're not around too.
    10th - Just because you love her, doesn't mean you stop loving yourself.
    11th - Don't date someone just to feel normal.
    12th - Don't tell someone you love them when you know you're lying to yourself.

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  • That I could not be there for her when she needed me. Also me believing she would wait for me to move.

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  • yup i can
    in the first part i took her for granted but when i realised that i started caring for her n comforting her but i failed to realise when this caring grew into my over protective nature for her
    i became over possessive in fear of losing her and slowly started eating up her space
    trust is foremost essential in a relationship but most important after that according to me is giving ur partner his or her own space so that he or she doesn't feel suffocated in the relationship
    one shouldn't force something on their partner
    that's it i guess.

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  • Yes, I know it. I liked them as friends with benefits , didn't love them deeply, thus I didn't romance them.

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  • The two previous loves of my life ended in the following ways:

    1.) The global economy was collapsing and I needed to focus on work to save my business... but the bitch didn't want to interrupt her vacation.

    2.) Visa problems.

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  • i acted like a child

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  • She didn't like when I sent her calls to voicemail regularly.

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  • They all ended because I cheated.

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  • never really got that far

    you genuinely said learnt
    I'm sorry that was too good 😂

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    • Learnt is a word? Maybe not to Americans but British English it's commonly used

    • maybe so, it just struck me funny ;j

      But, I've never had a girlfriend. I thought I was close once, but never really happened

  • my dick was too small... just kidding.

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  • I couldn't care less

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  • I'ma wolf

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  • yeah cuz once my girl got a boob job, she started getting much more attention from other guys and she decided she wasn't ready to settle down with just one guy. :( I don't know what I've learned though. haha. just to watch out for people that seem to crave attention from others because once they start getting it, they might leave u forever? :'( lol

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    • That sucks dude. Sorry to hear it. I guess recognising low self esteem as a red flag might be a good thing?

  • I just wasn't good enough for her :(

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    • or she wasn't good enough for you. you'll find your person.

    • Show All
    • There's gonna be a lot of girls you'll feel that way about. I was crazy about my 1st boyfriend... that was years ago. I met another guy and thought he was the best too... didn't work out. I'm now talking to this guy who I think is the best... may work out, may not. Relationships will come and go. That's what you have to learn.

    • I've never felt this way about any girl in my life...

  • Sex drive mismatch, obvious early but tried to plow ahead and hope love would make it work anyway.

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  • lies. too many lies

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What Girls Said 7

  • My last relationship... I knew there was something missing in the connection at some point. I can't pinpoint exactly when but I remember slowly realizing it... and I would cry... a lot. And when I'd try to talk to him about it... he'd turn it around and guilt me and half-heartedly apologize for being a bad boyfriend... which was never the answer I was looking for. And he just... he never wanted to do about anything and typically refused to cooperate. When I had a career break he all but rolled his eyes in his congratulations. So many things. I would pick up on it... and then blame myself for 'finding bad things'. It was all so subtle, but finally I realized he wasn't meeting me halfway on the effort end. He didn't understand relationships the same way as I did and it fell apart.

    I did most of the actual mourning during the relationship... so when I told him I couldn't do it anymore... I wasn't even sad anymore. I've had at least a couple of other relationships where I did the grieving before doing the breakup.

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  • First one ended because he met someone else and left me for her. Not sure what I could of done to stop him doing that, I thought we were happy.

    Second left me because he believed someone who was known for lying and causing shit instead of believing me.

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  • I haven't been in relationships before but I've been in that stage of getting to know and liking each other. I've ended all of them lol
    Usually because the guy would actively try to make me jealous, play mind games with me, or generally do things to try to hurt me. I just see it as immature and move on. You don't want to be with someone who tries to hurt you, what kind of relationship logic is that?

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  • Our careers were in direct conflict. He needed someone that could move around the world with him. I needed someone who can move to me. Next time, I have to quickly find out about a guy's career/education plans and his ability to relocate.

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  • I used to rely on men for validation. So if they got sick of validating me over and over then they ended it, or if I felt like they weren't giving me the confidence I needed I left them. Now I don't need a relationship to know my worth. And I'm engaged so

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    • "So if they got sick of validating me over and over then they ended it, or if I felt like they weren't giving me the confidence I needed I left them." So you constantly asked for validation and compliments till they were tired of humoring you? Or you dumped them if they didn't due it enough?

      Funny how it sounds like its mens fault with that first sentence, hahaha

    • @Salohcin22 no it wasn't their fault at all. I was just emotionally needy. I was abandoned as a child so I was always afraid of them leaving me. I would become emotionally distant to (subconsciously) see if they'd stick around. I was a child and they were too. I don't hold it against them. My past relationship before my current partner I was in a much better place and I broke up simply because there wasn't a connection and our personalities didn't match. At this point in my life I don't need proof of love. If you love me you love me. If you don't you don't.

  • We fell out of love with one another. I was on the path of graduating from high school while he still has at least a year left of high school. I didn't have the same feelings for him like I did when we first met. Plus I had given him to many chances in the past when he only deserved one. I began to realize that I deserve to be treated much better than the way he treated me. I'm off getting my degree now and he is off getting his diploma and going to school in the Fall.

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  • I was being controlled and treated like shit for three years 🚮

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