My boyfriend of over 9 months recently broke up with me.
He said that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, he does not want a girlfriend,and he said, in particular "I just don't want to deal with this relationship anymore."
In the past couple of months there has been a lot of tension between us, due to both of our busy work schedules, me going to class, and him moving out of his moms house and into a new place.
I brought a lot of insecurities to the relationship, and I knew after awhile that he would get fed up and something would happen between us.
I didn't bother getting worked up because I knew things would be better as soon as I had gotten out of school for the summer and as soon as he moved out. He expressed several times that he wanted to spend more time with me etc., and yes, at one point we were probably only seeing each other 2 or three times a week AT MOST. He wasn't happy with that, and neither was I, but I figured things would get better in the summer.
We never fought, never raised our voices to each other, and had a good sex life. Just a few days before the break up, he expressed that he was upset because he wanted to see me more often.
After an argument last weekend and the tension being so bad between us that I did not have the power to stay with him one night, he asked if things just weren't working between us, and I was really hurt. To make a long story short, he seemed to think things were not able to work between us anymore, and he broke up with me a couple days later over text after I told him to not even bother coming to my house to do it face to face.
He said he just wants to be friends. He has pulled a complete 360 by doing this, and my heart is broken. I see very clearly the issues I brought to the relationship, and I see how easily they could be fixed.
After not talking for a few days, I sent him an email expressing my side of the story and also told him (while being assertive, not begging, and not desperate) that I would be willing to change the things that went wrong, because I feel if it weren't for my insecurities this never would have happened. We were very happy together at one point.
I WILL NOT beg him to come back to me. I'm trying to accept and respect that he wants to be single now. He's not out to hurt me, and I can not find a reason to be angry with him. My problem is that I have high hopes that he will regret his decision, because I know very well in my heart that he wants a serious relationship.
What do I do? I want to be civil and mature because we have a lot of mutual friends, but I've already relapsed and broken down and texted him. I want him to come back to me, but I don't want him to think I am waiting. Is this realistic? Should I ask to see him in person? Please give me any and all advice.. I honestly don't know what to do at this point, I love him and would be willing to do whatever it takes on my part for things to work between us. How do I convey that without seeming desperate?
I sent him the email the next day and asked him to not respond, only to tell me he had read it or not.