I've only been with my boyfriend for 9 months but he suffers from depression and insecurity. For the past couple of months we just seem to keep arguing all the time. I can only see him once a week because of work etc which he says is fine, but then he shouts at me for only seeing him that much and says it's not normal. And everyone he's spoken to says I'm "not normal". When I'm out st can't reply to him, I'll have about 3 messages and 3 missed calls so I start stressing. When I call him out on it he always apologises and says he doesn't know why he acts the way he does. This just goes round in circles all the time. He says he just wants to make things better between us. But then a week later he rings me and asks what's going on again because I've not been replying to him. I've explained I can't have my phone glued to me (I've never gone a day not replying to him just to clarify). He doesn't really have any friends, he lives in his own, his dad left him when he was 5 and his mum is critically ill in intensive care with possible permanent brain damage... so I almost feel like I can't leave him because he will have nobody. He's always saying I'm the only good thing his life and I'm the only thing worth getting up for. But I'm not happy I just feel constantly stressed in the relationship, but I feel trapped because of his situation with his mum etc :(
Most Helpful Guy
From a relationship coaching lens, a couple things:
1) Don't stay with someone because you feel sorry for them. It's leading them on and the longer you stay the longer you're delaying their ability to move forward. Today, he probably feels like y'all are moving forward, you know better.
2) Your happiness matters as much as his BUT you're focused more on his. The longer you stay, the more miserable you become, the shorter your patience and temper get, the VERY LIKEKY chance you two have a big blow up.
Most Helpful Girl
Trying not to hurt someone will only hurt you more in the end.
Don't pity him as he doesn't need it but what he does need from you is knowing that there is somebody there for him and this is the reason you feel torn about leaving him.
However, you have the right to a good life too and you need to weigh up the pros and cons of what you get out of dating him.
I noticed you didn't mention that you love him.0