Ex is conflicted, how to proceed?

Basically I've been broke up with my ex for 4 months now, we were eachother's firsts, going out since we were both 14, that was 4 years ago, her reasoning was "I love you but I'm not in love with you" we had a very good relationship, albeit it got a bit boring because we were both working 50 hour a week jobs and we were kinda too tired to do stuff together, but we still went out the odd time.

When we broke up all she did was party, party and party. Late nights etc. Nearly got the sack from her job for absence. Did a complete 180. She even slept with someone, then cried to me about how bad she felt, saying she felt low and used (lol.) While she did that, I got a better paying job, I work 13 hours less and still make more money than my old job. Hit the gym and I've put on 10lbs thanks to a diet my PT friend recommended, have massive confidence in myself and my abilities now, huge changes.

We've talked about reconciling, she said she doesn't know what she wants. I asked "why?" And she said she enjoys being single, while admitting the grass isn't greener, she enjoys her freedom and likes the fact she doesn't have to answer to anyone, valid points, I mean she's young. But still admits she has feelings for me. (She even still snoops my Facebook through a friend because I blocked her...) I'm kinda open to reconciling, but what's the best way to proceed? We talk maybe once a week, she initiates it. I kinda want to talk to her, but I don't want her to have her cake and eat it, I said I'll give her a month to think about it, but she really won't stick to NC. Any ideas?


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What Girls Said 1

  • You can have feelings for someone and still acknowledge that you don't want to be with them. She wants to be single but misses the comfort and familiarity of being with you. Valid feelings but ones she should not be dragging you into. It's selfish and not fair to you. Honestly, I think you should just go no contact and move forward with your life. You sound like you are happy with your life and are looking for a good partner to share it with. I'm sorry but she's not going to be able to be that person for you.


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