Communicating with an ex, is it okay?

Hello!
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year. We were having time apart for a few weeks and were still together at that point to try and sort things out. We both came to a mutual agreement that we should not be in a relationship and focus on ourselves to become better people. The reason we split up was because we argued a lot about ridiculous things and was causing pressure on our relationship. Also we got together too soon as I wasn't ready when he was. He suggested we separate for a bit and not see each other then in a month or when we are ready, to go out for food (like a date) and see if we can work things out. In the meantime he said we can date other people if we wanted to and continue with our lives. He said he still wants to text everyday like we usually do and if I need anything to give him a phone call or text. I feel like it may not help us get the chance to miss one another. I want the outcome for us to get back together and try again once we sort out our own issues. Should I speak to him just when he reaches out or let him know I don't want to talk to him for a bit until we feel ready to meet again? I love talking to him but I don't want it to ruin any chances of us being something down the line. Hope this wasn't too long and I explained well enough!
All thoughts are welcome! Thanks:)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dealing with Exes:
    Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more. An EX is just one in a long line of potential exes. People typically have many relationships in their lives.

    Take it from a 52 year old who has lived a while and knows what he's talking about :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think if your supposed to focus on personal growth I don't see how you can do that talking to each other everyday. It's like still ring together without the title. You need space from each other. I'm not saying never speak but limit it to every other day or whatever your comfortable with

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • Yeah, di you think I should say this to him? Cause I feel like if we continue speaking like normal it won't be any different and we may not be able to focus as much on ourselves

    • I think you should. Boundaries are goid

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 8

  • Everything is about him. " he said".. this and that.

    Personally I'd just tell him that if we can't work our differences out when together it won't work out in the future. I'd part on good terms but move on. I wouldn't put my hope in " what could be "

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  • I just don't see the point, if you reconcile you'll probably just go back to arguing about stupid things again. It just seems like a relationship that is not meant to be unfortunately, you will try but I think it's clear it doesn't work very well. A year isn't that long to already be experiencing so many complications. I know you'll read this and pay no attention but I think it would really benefit you to move on.

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  • "Taking a break" won't solve your problems. If anything, it'll just introduce new ones... like, say, if one of you sleeps with or dates someone else during the "break".

    Either sort your shit out as a couple or break up.

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  • Okay, I think I get what your asking. Honestly, if you enjoy talking to him, don't stop! Your friendly relationship with him should not be ruined. Just keep your eyes open for the right man. Remember, it'll all work in the end! Your happiness is the most important thing.

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  • if you are talking a break from one another to sort things out, talking or texting every day is counter productive. so is dating other people in my opinion.

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  • Well here's my thought.. if he's willing to leave you out there to potentially find someone new or even hook up with other guys, then I don't think his feelings can be too strong. I mean he said you can date other people. That should be his biggest fear. That you date someone new and fall in love and leave him forever. People want to be loved and don't really enjoy being single forever they crave companionship so eventually you'll both meet other people if he's saying you guys can date others. I don't know if he really felt strong enough for you the thought of another guy around you would be too much to handle

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  • Being friends is ok.

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  • Just be straight up otherwise you'll just be wondering what could've been because before you know it he could find a new girl just when you are ready to tell him how you feel and that's like the shitest feeling ever so just tell him before it's too late

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