Girls, what are your thoughts on this with me?

I was in a committed relationship with my girlfriend. We lived together, and had very frank discussions about our plans for a future together. She really wants us to get married and have children, which is something I also want. We have talked about which town to live in, picked out names for our future children etc.
We also established an understanding of what was acceptable for us to do in the relationship. For instance, she is absolutely against the idea of me going out to a club or bar, meeting a woman there, giving her my contact information, and then communicating with the said woman afterwards, or meeting up with her. I agree with her on this wholeheartedly, and hold her to the same standard.

The problem is this: She was at a club with friends one night recently. A couple days after, she told me a guy approached her and they talked for a bit, and that she absolutely did not give out her contact information to him. Three days later she texted me that she was going to her mother's house. Instead she had been out with this guy. It turns out that she did give him her information at the club a few days prior, and he reached out to her. When he did, she spent a few hours with him. In all of this she never once mentioned that she has a boyfriend to him because "he didn't ask"
She said she was lonely because I have been busy at work and school lately. Yes, I have been busy, but I still plan dates (the last of which was cancelled because her friends had invited her to the club and she really wanted to go), and I try to take frequent breaks from academic work to play with and spend time with her. There have been semesters where she had a higher workload than I, and I let her focus while I killed time with reading books while with her and stuff like that, and helping her with her homework as much as she wanted
There have been some other instances of lying and attempts to deceive me from her in the past.
Please share your unfiltered thoughts on this. Thank s in advance
Thank you for the replies


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What Girls Said 2

  • Um not sure why you need advice on this. You set down clear stipulations on what was acceptable and what was not. She choose to do what was not. Do you need more than that?
    If this was a game of cards and you clearly state that anyone who chooses to cheat will be out of the game, and then one person cheats, do you allow them to keep playing?

  • I'd leave. Lying is not okay. That's a huge sign that there will probably be cheating in the future. Especially when you'll probably both have full time jobs, kids, etc. she'll think she's lonely and find someone on the side.


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