I recently found out that 11 years ago my husband cheated on me with another woman. At the time we weren't married or even engaged and he was away at uni, but even so we were together in a long term relationship and I feel very betrayed. I had suspicions at the time as well which always led to an argument when I questioned him about things.
They had sex and it went on for about a year. He says it was a mistake he regretted and he allowed it to fizzle out when he left uni cos he decided he wanted a future with me. 2 years later we got engaged.
I dispute the fact it was a mistake as it went on too long and was like a relationship. She was married and pregnant when he started seeing her too! I feel like he settled for me but he says he always wanted me which is why never broke up.
We now have 3 kids and have been married 7 years, he swears it was a one off and it was so long ago. How do I get past it?
Most Helpful Girl
Okay, I get the fact that you have a problem that he betrayed you earlier in the relationship, but for the life of me, I don't see why this is "Still" an issue. The only thing that I can think of is that maybe you are out to destroy what you have gained between the two of you. Can you be happy? Do you want to be happy isn't the question but...Can you be happy?
That was before your relationship got into a serious groove and obviously he loves you very much if he proposed, married, started a family and is still being a strong and powerful influence on your household. I could not imagine moving forward with someone that keeps bringing up the negative aspects of the past. He has done everything to show you that you are the only one for him and that he is satisfied.
You are the problem and after 11 years later if you are still dwelling on this then you need to seek professional help. Not marriage counseling because it's not the marriage that has the problem, neither is it your husband. It's your own low self esteem, negativity and powerlessness (if that's a word). I would advise you to see someone before you loose something that you may not have deserved in the first place. Good Luck Ty_lady!
P.S. You were not married at the time, so you were single. He did not belong to you, therefore, he technically...Didn't cheat!0