Girls, I made every mistake in the book. And I still want her back, what do I do?

So a month and a half ago I ended my 2 year relationship with my ex fiancé. Now I'm going to preface this story with the fact that I'm 99% sure she's a narcissist. Anyways, in the beginning we had the relationship that made people want to puke, we were sweet and madly in love. Well I got out of the Marines and moved to TX to be with her, and that's when it all went down hill. I tried to hide my feelings so I wouldn't look weak, and I ended up becoming a huge liar. Over little things too. I've never cheated or anything, but I'd lie over stupid things like what I had for lunch. She manipulated the hell out of me accused me of everything she could, and one day after two years if had enough. I packed up and left. Well four days later after I got back to MN, she dropped the fact that she was with someone new and that she would not talk to me anymore, I was hurt so I said every mean thing I could think of. It was wrong and I apologized profusely, and I realized I wanted her back, so I started writing her letters almost daily, and I'm not gonna lie I blew up her phone. and she responded to nothing. I left my W2s at her apartment and I couldn't get ahold of her for anything. Well finally I told her mom if I don't get them I may have to call the postal inspector and that has a bunch of bad consequences, anyways I called her and she answered, and she said she hated me. Is there any fixing this? I mean I love this woman. And I would do anything for her, but how do you win someone back once they've rebounded and hate you? Is it possible?
And when I say she answered I mean she was screaming at me calling me every name in the book, stating that she hates my guts. I didn't even say anything bad back I just apologized for the mean things I said right after we broke up, and I tried to explain that I was really hurt and she didn't care. She still kept going on about how she made her parents hate me so there was "no chance" of us getting together again. I still love her, I hurt her and I can understand that. I really do love her though
And I know if we work on it we can fix all of the negative things that happened. She did her fair share of bad things to me, and I'm willing to forgive any and everything. I love her, I love her family, and I just want to know if it's even possible to get someone back after a terrible break up?


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What Girls Said 3

  • It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. If she doesn't want you back then even if you want to get back together there's not much you can do about it. Doesn't matter if it's a good or bad breakup, you need both people to want to get back together to make that work.

    Why did you change your mind after you heard she was with someone new. You hurt, but why? You didn't hurt before them, you didn't want her back before then, you didn't change your mind before then? I'm not trying to be rude but, just make sure it's actually that you love her and changed your mind and not something like, your pride was hurt, or you became nostalgic for the good times.

    • To be honest I did want her back, I left to get myself back to who I was before. It sounds stupid but I knew I wasn't myself and I wanted to fix it. And I was hurt because I gave up literally everything I could to make it work, and I didn't feel like any of it mattered to her. I love her, and I mean really love her, and it really hurt that four days after she was with someone else.

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    • It was my pleasure! And to be honest I do think she was partly to blame, but it takes two to ruin a relationship lol and that's the thing I know if I can show her I'm going to be more honest and that I've changed for the better we'd be back to having an incredible relationship, I mean I've heard of people changing how they feel about the other over time and the fact that we only broke up a month and a half ago, the scars might still be fresh on her end?

    • It does, that said, if only you improve yourself it doesn't fix things, you both need to improve. It takes two to maintain a relationship. I do think it's great that you are taking responsibility for your part, it's an important step and I many people have difficulty recognizing their own faults. The scars might still be fresh on her end, that's very possible. There must have been something since you two were together for two years and got engaged, so perhaps there is a chance to salvage it. At the same time, just do be aware that it's also possible that she moves on while you're getting yourself back to who you were before.

  • well if you love her and you are 100% sure that you reallyyy want her back then you should try harder. actions;not words. first of all go see her in person, insist, it's way better than talking on the phone. do something romantic... and just show her how you really feel, explain to her in details why you love her and why you don't want to lose her. don't just give up..

    • I think I should give it some time though right? I mean she said she hates my guts, plus she's still with her rebound?

    • well it depends. maybe she just said so because she was upset. but if you give her more time you risk that she moves on completely and forgets you.

    • That's kind of my plan I just want to wait for her emotions to cool, so I'm just not going to contact her for a while I guess. I definitely want to fly back down to Houston and see her face to face though. It's easy to hate someone when you can only hear a voice or read a message

  • See if she will take you back

    • That's the thing though she just told me she hates me. And she's so pissed off that she said she wouldn't take me back. "Only one chance per guy" I don't want to give up though so what actions should I take?

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