I just can't stop stalking my ex I'm driving insane what should I do?

It's been three months after we broke up, I was in a really abusive relationship, in which he treated me really bad. He always talked about his ex, and after we broke up I just can't stop check his profile and checking his ex also. He readded her again on Facebook and is chasing her. I believe I'm starting to sink in a depression, bc I don't have pleasure in anything, sometimes I want to die and another times I just want to sleep. Please help me what can I do to stop this pain?


Most Helpful Guy

  • The reason you keep stalking your ex, is cause rejection creates obsession. The reason you are acting out this way, is because you are suffering from low self confidence, from being abused.
    forgiveness is what you do for yourself, not for other people. When you forgive, it doesn’t mean that you approve of what’s happened. Rather, it means that you’re giving yourself permission to move on with your life.

    Forgiveness is a choice. Don’t wait for it to just wash over you all of a sudden. You have to choose it.
    Don’t give your power away. The pain of what happened is inevitable, but continuing to suffer is optional. The only person you can control is you. By constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you are giving your power away to the person who wronged you.
    Don’t cling to negative feelings. Anger is nothing more than an outward sign of hurt, fear, guilt, grief or frustration. While the pain may never completely disappear, forgiveness can help you release the anger and bring those in your life closer to you.
    There is no right timeline for recovery. For some people, making peace happens suddenly and spontaneously. For others, it takes time and effort. You may have to make a conscious effort every day to forgive. To say, “I’m letting this go. I’m not going to invest hatred, bitterness, anger, resentment in this person anymore.” You can find closure in forgiveness.
    You can’t change the things that happened in your life, but you can decide how you interpret and respond to them. If you didn’t receive support when you needed it, give it to yourself now.
    Listen to your internal dialogue. What are you saying to yourself? Write them down without censoring them. Is what you’re saying fair and true? If not, generate new ways of thinking. Someone may have said horrible things to you long ago, but it’s possible you took over for them when it stopped.

    We teach people how to treat us.
    Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.

    You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don’t. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others’ behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.

    • Hate, anger, and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with your own peace, joy, and relaxation. Ugly emotions change who you are and contaminate every relationship you have. They can also take a physical toll on your body, including sleep disturbance, headaches, back spasms, and even heart attacks.

      Forgiveness sets you free from the bonds of hatred, anger, and resentment. The only way to rise above the negatives of a relationship in which you were hurt is to take the moral high ground and forgive the person who hurt you.

      Forgiveness is not about another person who has transgressed against you; it is about you. Forgiveness is about doing whatever it takes to preserve the power to create your own emotional state. It is a gift to yourself, and it frees you. You don’t have to have the

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    • Find and control the payoffs, because you can’t stop a behavior until you recognize what you are gaining from it. Payoffs can be as simple as money gained by going to work to psychological payoffs of acceptance, approval, praise, love or companionship. It is possible that you are feeding off unhealthy, addictive and imprisoning payoffs, such as self-punishment or distorted self-importance.

      Be alert to the possibility that your behavior is controlled by fear of rejection. It’s easier not to change. Try something new or put yourself on the line. Also, consider if your need for immediate gratification creates an appetite for a small payoff now rather than a large payoff later.

    • Use any pain you have to propel you out of the situation you are in and to get you where you want to be. The same pain that burdens you now could be turned to your advantage. It may be the very motivation you need to change your life.

      Decide that you are worth the risk of taking action, and that your dreams are not to be sold out. Know that putting yourself at risk may be scary, but it will be worth it. You must leave behind the comfortable and familiar if you are to move onward and upward

Most Helpful Girl

  • Block him from social media, and every time you feel the urge to check do something else. I had this habit when I was younger - anytime I felt my fingers twitching I'd get a drink of water. I drank a lot more water, and eventually stopped thinking about it


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What Guys Said 2

  • you have to stop think about him.. by focusing on your life and by being busy in your work.. invest you time in something you love

  • You can stop stalking his social media, as it's clearly preventing you from moving on.


What Girls Said 1

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