Is this still considered as LOVE? All l know is I cared?

Hello, there is that lady at work, (this one is married). Generally what makes me connected or attracted to women n what i look when I meet them first time - Smtimes it takes a little longer for me to connect., are Their personality, character, how friendly they r. how easily they get along.. Including how they connect with relatives..
I am not mentioning sex here because if the above criteria r satisfied n we get along sex comes auto

Like with that lady above (at work), I felt connected, n felt at ease with her that I showed some caring besides she is already married on paper n now she is preparing for religious wedding. Because she is already married on paper, I can only express my respect, appreciation, caring as she knows it. But since we had a chat on Friday as I asked if I could hv a walk with her during lunch time n walk her to bus stop to have a nice chat as we don't do it. She may b talking n laughing with everyone, but when it comes to me, she will either Skype me rarely talking about work. Even on Skype I can't open a general conversation. This really annoys n makes me very sad.
On Friday she refused me walking her to bus stop because, as she told me, people in our company do gossip a lot. Even once there was that guy who asked me "if me n her having an affair". i was annoyed. She even said, once confirmed, she will move to another department in the company which is based in da city.
One thing I can't understand is, there is a guy who lives in the south, they both go home together. She often comes to talk to him during lunch time n go hv a sit down to take air or hv a walk out.
That's what i want from her. But she prevented me.. Why is that? Other guys can but not me...
The way I describe what i see in women is also with single ones, only 2 women I felt like I am feeling. With my ex girlfriend (who is married by now- that time i didn't earn big money). This lady at work n ex girlfriend, I connected easily.
Feel sad. I hv to hide my face tomorrow at work.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Please stop inviting me to your questions


Most Helpful Guy

  • The reason is that you are showing a clear interest in her. She walks and talks with other guys because the treat her as a friend and not as someone they have a crush on. If she's married them you hanging around her is only going to cause problems for her both socially and in her marrage. It may suck but you just need to move on and find someone else you like. If you don't you might be fired for harassment and be put on a restraining order.

    • So u suggest she knws I still care. N that's why she doesn't talk to me. With me asking her if we could hv a a walk n talk... It's just I want her to feel like with the others, that is walking as friends. We never hold hands n walk. I never do thgs in public or at work where people can see us... If I did, was just in her office, slight touch (hold her hand - 2mins longer, caressed her arm once just like that, tapped her back when was aching n look in her eyes while talking) . Nothg more. I even used sweet words with her b4., now all these dead. I want to hide from her but whenever she passes, I feel very stressed n try to not look at her but I look. See her talk with that guy, it hurts

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    • I think she wants you to keep things as strictly acquantences. nothing more than a hello.

    • How can I keep distance from her.. I do try to.. But when she passes by, I feel strange when not talking to me even if it's normal conversation like with the others.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 2

  • As you feel connected to her, you may have shown some signs of interest. She might be aware about those signs and she may have thought that you like her more than you should. She is trying to prevent you from spending any time with her, so that, things won't go much ahead. I believe that she is indirectly telling you to 'Go away, I don't want you to like me that way'. You should not pursue this further as it will cause problems for you both. You should try to avoid her as much as you can, I apologize but it is for your own good. She 'hangs out' with other acquaintances as they aren't attracted/feeling connection with her, and she is aware of it, so she considers 'hanging out' with them much more safer than with you. If you are unable to avoid her/feeling unable to avoid her, start behaving like a friend would, but never rush things further as she is 'already' married on paper. I hope my opinion has helped, and no, this is not love, it seems more like infatuation.

    • Thank you for your answer. Well about behaving as a fren to her, I do consider her as one beside those Infactuations. I ask her if we could walk etc just coz I feel comfortable with her. I never hold her hand or touch her etc. I may try look in her eyes n talk while walking but quick. While walking with her i don't really focus onto her, I do look at other women.. Guess she reject me. In office, when she passes by table, I feel strange, sad, (dunno if its hurt). She will talk to everyone but not me. If she does she would by text about work..

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    • Hi, she is in her office with her boss. We hate her boss coz he always get into thgs that does not concern him. Am being very careful. Mayb he is guessing about me n her. I don't want thgs to get worst. I let her in her corner. When coming to work, I seen her walking as she was on phone. Since it was sunny I drove away.. U knw there r thgs I just do. It's not that I have to thk if she is or anyone else I got problem with, so I do do Anythg. Where I can help I will. But not always. Here am being very careful coz of these people.

    • Mayb in the long run, if I get the chance to talk to her i will express myself not as lover or had a feeling for her etc. But just some sort of emotional thgs. N a sincere apology n we walk away..
      It's sad though for this to happen. It should nt. I find it very stupid

  • forgive me dude


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