Cheating sucks.

i was dating this guy and we've been dating for along time and I really really care about him. so anyways I was at this party and got a little drunk.. my best friend for years was there and he said I was sorta leading him on like I wanted to do stuff so he kissed me and as soon a that happened I backed away.. I felt horrible so I told my boyfriend because I cannot lie to him whatsoever. we were fine for like three weeks then he said he couldn't do it anything and broke up with me. I was so heartbroken and cried for days. after that we didn't talk for about three months then out of the blue he texts me and says he misses me and that we need a talk so we did and decided to take things slow. well we weren't dating and we had sex a lot then randomly he stops talking to me and every time I try he says he doesn't know about us anymore and doesn't wanna deal with it right now? what does this mean guys? are we over or what?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • As long as you are giving the whole story about what happend and what you did involving the kissing, then I think your ex needs to get over it.

    You were at a party, where an old friend got drunk, and then he kissed you, then you backed away. That's not cheating. That's someone taking there advance a bit too far, and you stopping it,... and kudos for telling your man.

    I can respect your ex's issues though,... being that this best friend is a guy, that you probably still hang out with him, and now, obvisously when you are haning out, you need to stay sober / aware enough to keep things from happening,... that's a little disconcerting.

    If you are really wanting to be with this guy, you need to have a serious talk about what happened, what is happening, and how you both feel. You may also need to make a difficult decision about your best friend since advances and outward statements of affection are going to be atom bombs to any relationships that you are in. If you truly have no feelings for this best friend, and he can't respect that and put his aside, perhaps you need to make a split.

    Best wishes.

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    • That seriously is all of the story. and its so hard for him to get past it. like you said I would give up my realtionship with my best friend for my ex because he means that much to me. but thanks for your advice much appreciated!!

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What Guys Said 6

  • Experienced a situation that was almost exactly the same aside from a few minor details.

    Girlfriend goes to Michigan, feels awkward but then goes to a party. There is some guy there who says the exact phrase to her " you're leading me on". Her cousin encourages her to do stuff with him. For the next 4 days she goes to the party and does stuff with this guy. They don't have sex or anything too serious but the fact of the matter is she did it, 4 times, and with the full intention of doing what she did every night. Surprisingly, I was able to deal with it immediately. Did it hurt; you bet. I forgave her for it and we lasted up until a few weeks ago(a year later). The issue isn't that I can't get over it, but that she destroyed the foundation of our relationship and made me wonder if she is the best pick for me. She made her mistake and realized that she wants me. Unfortunately it took something that would cause extreme damage to me for her to realize this. Now I am stuck between sticking out the relationship with her, or moving on to something new and seeing if she is really what I want. If she wouldn't have cheated on me this wouldn't be happening.

    So pretty much.. what you did may have f***ed your relationship up. Completely.

    P.S. My girlfriend felt horrible and told me a few months later. If she would have left me completely ignorant of the situation I believe we would be perfect right now. Proof of this you ask? I was completely happy and fine with the relationship, thinking everything was great until she told me. Just goes to show that Ignorance truly is bliss. Who wants to be ignorant though?

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  • it's your X's fault, you were at a party and your drunk friend kissed u...but you backed away and you even had the guts to tell your boyfriend, that's not cheating, and you were honest with him...i don't see why your still interested in him if he's gonna be like this... so here's what you gotta say : you gotta ask him if he wants you or not, and what you did was not wrong...so this is his last chance to make things right...

    thats the only way to know !

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  • You are probably over. Next time don't kiss & tell. even if it was an accident. Just keep it to yourself. Relationships last for YEARS even if there is cheating. But the day the cheating is out of the closet, it is over.

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  • All girls cheat, it's only natural. I blame the guy for getting into a relationship. Relationships benefit girls more anyway. Guys should just simply have casual sex, and not get to close to the girls.

    regarding the all girls cheat comment, there are numbers of documentaries and books that explain this. Basically one week they want a caring guy, the next they want a alpha male type guy.

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  • cheat on him again, but this time, with a tiger. because all men love women that have sex with tigers.

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  • i think you can't be trusted and he is have a hard time getting over u. he did nothing wrong you did.

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    • You know what, she made a mistake and she stopped way before most people do, especially considering she was drunk. I think she gets it that what she did was wrong because she felt guilt and told her boyfriend about it. No need to dig the knife in further.

      The only thing she is asking for here is some advice on what is happening with them now. I have married friends who have been able to get past full blown affairs. It is possible but not in this case apparently.

    • Yup not in every case.

What Girls Said 4

  • If you are taking things slow, you should not be having sex. Taking things slow means no sex and slowly seeing if you can re-attach emotionally. He obviously had no problem having sex with you, not a big surprise, but he did have a problem connecting emotionally. If you go down this path with him again, make it clear to him you want to re-establish a friendship, and you do not want to have sex until the two of you are clearly ready for a relationship.

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  • I think it's just way of saying that he needs time. Maybe when he got back together with you, he thought he could forget. He should take your honesty into consideration, most guys usually don't want to hear it, regardless. Just give him time or ask him what it is about you that's bothering him. If he can't give you an answer, then the best that you can do is just let him go. If you really love him...

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  • sounds like you are over...sorry girl, he sounds like a selfish boy

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  • Im sorry to say this, but it sounds to me like ur just a booty call to him now. I doesn't sound like he wants a relationship with u, just sex. If ur ok with it then stay, if not cut him out of ur life and try to move on. Sorry. :(

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