Broke up about a year and a half ago, well more like she just stopped talking to me and completely ignored me before finding a new boyfriend after 2 months. When I get drunk I have a habit of leaving some pretty nasty shit, anonymously on her tumblr profile. I found out this when I left a message to her unsent. I'm trying to look at the good of complete piece of shit... it's only when I'm VERY drunk which only happens like once every 2 months. I don't want to keep doing that to her, I also don't know if she knows it's me or not.
So I know what's eating at me, making me so pissed off. We were friends for 6 years before hand and I still have no clue why she just decided to shut me out of her life. I have all these ideas of why but really... no clue. I've never tried to resolve how I feel about what happened. I can not move on, thinking about it every single day. For myself I need to stop obsessing over it. Working on myself, hobbies and trying to meet other people has done nothing for me and it's been a year and a half now.
I'm terrified of confronting her, I've run across her last summer and she went so far as to walk across the street to avoid walking past me. I was thinking of writing her a letter and explaining why to her best friend, giving it to her.
I just don't know what to do, keep trying to work on myself or do I try to resolve all this shit in my head?
Thank you anyone that helps, I really appreciate it.
- Resolve thingsVote A
- Work on yourself/try to move onVote B
- Results/otherVote C
Most Helpful Girl
Learn how to forgive. Forgiveness isn't about saying what she did was ok. It's about letting it go so you can move on with your life. If you continue to allow yourself to feel this anger it will consume you. You don't want that. It's understandable that you want answers but there's a good chance you won't get them. And even if you do they may not be the answers you want. Believe me I witnessed this with a friend of mine whose girlfriend left him over two years ago. He told me that she never gave him a real explanation but she actually did talk to him multiple times... He just didn't like what she told him. It didn't coincide with his perception of their relationship and of himself. The thing is everyone has a different perception. Well it's VERY possible your ex was just a bitch (she definitely sounds immature. Probably wasn't ready for a serious relationship) it's also possible that she saw your relationship differently from how you did. Closure won't magically heal your wounds. That is something that comes with time and with living your life. Having a good time. Forming new memories.0
Most Helpful Guy
It is comforting and reassuring to understand why a break up occurred, so that you can learn from the experience and become a better person. . . but life does not always present that possibility. You can't force her to sit and talk with you. If you could force her to do that (like kidnapping her they way exes do in bad movies) you couldn't trust her to tell you the truth; she may not even be honest with herself about that happened.
You do have some ideas of what went wrong. You have some notions of what was good and what was bad and how you may have contributed to the break up. In the meanwhile, feeling sorry for yourself is like pissing in your pants; it may give you a warm feeling for now, but eventually other people are going to stop sitting near you.
Read this: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a11176-a-practical-guide-for-how-to-get-over-your-breakup-how-to-get-on0