We've been together nearly 11 years. 4 years ago I found a girls number in his phone after a night out. I spoke to the girl and she told me they made out a few times. He denied it and I believed it.
We've had a stressful 2 years where we have been building our dream home. It's been emotionally and financially draining. My boyfriend has been distant from me the past 2 years and I thought it was just the stress of the house. It made me distant from him too. But I thought we were OK. I went through his phone 2 weeks ago and found over 30+ girls numbers he has stored but deleted over the past 2 years (dates were shown on his outlook... Some connection from him phone to his iPad). I messaged all the numbers... One girl said they kissed a couple of times and he messaged her for 2 months but it was nothing more than small talk. 4 other girls came out saying they made out exchanged numbers but no texts after meeting. He confessed to texting the one girl and denied making out with girls. After 2 weeks of heartache he confessed to kissing 3 girls. He did go through a bad spell of depression, we both did, and it sounds weird but I can forgive the kissing (eventually) but what hurts is the 4 years of me thinking he's innocently out with friends but each time he's taking girls numbers. He says he deleted them all straight away but even so... Why take them? And I should mention he stored half of them under his mates names. I added them to my phone and saw the pics on whatsapp. They were all girls.
He's been so upset. He's been trying to make up for it. I know he's sorry. But Im so hurt. I don't even look at other guys when I'm out. I don't want to throw 11 years away but I don't know if I can move on from this. Can anyone explain his behavior? We've been engaged for 4 years and just finished our house. Am I holding on out of sheer desperation?
Most Helpful Guy
be brutal and make him feel guilty because he has stepped over you once and if you don't take any action now then this can happen again.
I respect that at least he was honest and told you the truth but make him clear that you are strong and one more action like that can make you leave him0
Most Helpful Girl
I'm hoping your age is wrong on this site because if not... that explains A LOT!
And yes you're holding on out of sheer desperation. I get it that 11 years with someone is a long as time. But you have to ask yourself... do you love him enough to keep doing this? He only has remorse because he's been caught. It's one thing if it happened one time and he actually stopped but he keeps on and there are 30+ other women. He's bored at home or something is missing from this relationship. Quite frankly, I would be done with him. You have allowed him to be this way by constantly forgiving him. He's been doing this for years and he's not going to stop. You really need to find it yourself to "man up" and leave him. This relationship is extremely toxic.0