I'm having trouble moving on from my ex, any ideas what I can do?

I was with someone for 3 years in a long distance relationship. She was going to college on the east coast but in a rural town that is hard and very expensive for me to get to. Having living expenses and helping parents out it was very hard for me to get there and I would only be able to stay there 3 days for about $1ooo. However during the summer or winter, I could pay for her trip here or go visit her in her home in new york for around 400$ for about 2 weeks or even longer. She was ok with that, she even said it was better that way. Eventually it got harder to talk about things. She would constantly compare me to people and it made me feel like crap. I have self confidence issues, was cheated on and used by girls 4 times. When she hung out with the guys she compared me to until 3am, She wouldn't let me know. I got upset because i was worried about her. It bothered me yes that she would be with these guys, but it bothered me more that she would never respond or tell me until 3am. In the beginning of the relationship the roles were reversed, I would go out with my friends drink at their house or treat my family out to dinner. She would call me around 10 times asking me where I was, that she was worried. I thought it was silly but cute. She was in a pretty crappy household being verbally abused by her mother and brother. I decided not to go out anymore and spend most of my time with her so she wouldn't go through that alone. After moving into her dorm everything changed. When I was worried about her and asked her where she was and why she hadn't told me. She got upset at me telling me I was tying her down, I couldn't tell her what to do, that I didn't trust her. That I didn't talk to her enough. I really had nothing to talk to her about after awhile and it was my fault, I gave up my social life. In the end she left calling me a dead end without a future. That I was only with her because I wouldn't be able to find anyone else. I just don't know how to move forward.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I would say take a revenge and the best revenge is to make her see that you are free and happy without her. When she says that you were with her because no one else would be with you,,,,,, man she is putting you down like a peace of shit. Man what goes away was never meant to be yours, move on, look for new dates find a greater girl that will take you as you are. how could you leave your social life!!! Do you think you were loved!!! All the things she had done to you are the reason why you should get away from her and pass it by

    • She was actually really nice to me. However I just wish I could have taking her out on dates, but we couldn't being ling distance. We'd watch movies or play games. however yeah she just said I never did enough for her even though I gave up everything aside from my job to be with her when she needed me. She said she needed more communication, so I gave her advice to her problems, then she tell me I don't need you to tell me what to do I just need you to listen. After awhile we just wouldn't talk. I just didn't know what to say anymore. As for looking for dates, I have tried but over the past 2 months I have just been ignored haha. Maybe she was right, I really can't get anyone else... not like that was the reason I was with her though. I really loved her.

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    • Yeah I truly believe that, but I alwayd tried my best to be a better everyday and compared to how I was from the first year we were together, I was completely different, a lot better because I wanted to be someone who could make her happy. However she always kept putting me on some pedastol I kept telling her I wasn't perfect. She kept telling me I was, then one day she just completely went off on me telling me that I wasn't trying hard enough. She said she compared me to people to help me get over my social anxieties but that just made it worse. When I asked her to stop, she wouldn't and said that I wasn't appreciative of her help. I guess you're right though.

    • So!!! You feel like a failure? She also forgot that you are not as fortunate as she wants you to be but one day you could buy her the 🌙moon. Dont feel bad. She didn't have any right to treat you that way at all. She should have stickid with you because these kind of changes might take much longer than we think

What Girls Said 1

  • I did this once. Get on a dating app and talk to a bunch of girls pick the best ones to go on a date with. Only go out with them once or twice then delete them from your life. don't have sex with them ever.

    • I have tried this for the last 2 months, we broke up in November. No one responds to me ever. No matter how interested i may be or how high our match % (okcupid) is. I tried just about everything about being myself, tried being funny but no one seems interested. Even then I feel guilty about trying to date other people.

    • Then don't try right now. Find a new hobby or get another job. Stay busy.

    • unfortunately I've been doing all that. I've went back to school, joined a club and am running for vice president on Monday. I have also applied to a new job and have just finished my 4th interview and it looks like I'm getting the job. Still nothing really seems to get my mind off of her. It is not like I think about her all day, just sometimes something happens that reminds me of her and then I just really can't get her off my mind anymore.

What Guys Said 1

  • Just move on man accept it failed. And move on and be strong.