Cutting off emotional ties with someone who is not good for you?

I dated a guy off and on for a year. It wasn't until after we started dating that I found out:
- He's a heroin dealer
- He has no education
- He has a kid & dramatic/ violent tendencies with his ex
- He just recently got off heroin for the 2nd time
- He lives with his parents & sleeps on their couch
- He wasn't able to drive while he & I dated because of multiple DUIs & 9 times caught driving with a suspended license

I don't do drugs, don't smoke, have a great job, nice apartment, and a graduate degree. Why was I dating him? He's like a salesman in terms of being really slick with his words & VERY charming/ funny/ sweet/ generous when he wants to be. At this point in time he & I live in different states. About a month ago he had been talking about coming to live with me - but I was having doubts...

He lived with me before I moved to another state. He was with me pretty much day & night, and while he would he would do nice things like my laundry, clean my cat's litter box every day, & help pay for everything including rent, he 'd also be kind of selfish & controlling in some ways, & fly off the handle in anger if I brought up something he did that I thought was disrespectful.

After I told him my doubts about him living with he, I found out that he is now trying to get back with his ex (who moved to Maryland; he lives in CA). We've been on non-speaking terms... but then he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off, flexing and telling me how hot he knows he is. I didn't respond until the next day when he texted me again, asking me what I thought about his body. I told him it was douchey to send that to me, especially when getting back together with his ex. He goes on a long tirade, telling me that I wouldn't have responded to him unless I wasn't over him, and that I need to move on.

Overall question: how would you approach my situation?
I'm not in love with him anymore, but I do have good memories of some special times we had (hence cutting off any emotional connection or sentimental feelings I did have). I also am sick of his inflated ego bullshit texting, and want to know the best way to make him feel like the loser he is.
Update#2: after I didn't respond to him, he sent a bunch of texts of naked chicks, and said: "I've been f*cking 2 chicks while telling [his ex] that I love her and want to be with her, and trying to get back with you" (there already was no way I was going to get back with him, and we haven't seen each other in a year). I think he was trying to get a reaction out of me, but somehow I felt good after hearing that he is full of shit and doesn't care about his ex - or anyone. I haven't responded.


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  • I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like he's trying to provoke you. Trying to get a reaction out of you because even a bad reaction is better than nothing. Honestly after everything he put you through I would block his number and never look back. I know it's hard but it's for the best.


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  • smart move girl...


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