Can you remain good friends with an ex?

I am just curious on the subject, my ex broke up with me and wants to remain very good friends. To do different things together and to remain in contact while she is away and in different places. Any opinions are welcomed.

Just a quick update, me and her dated for 18 months, basically its kinda a combination of the way I acted, but this is a combination of being hurt and having other life issues which made me stop acting the way I did. But she didn't love me anymore.
She is currently dating this new guy. I would have to say our relationship was great we both loved each other very much and we both accepted each other flaws and tired to make our relationship work. It was not because she was moving did we break up.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Is it possible? Sure, if there is NO remaining feelings of love or desire to be with her anymore. And I'm talking 100% positive that there is none.

    But if there are remaining feelings at all, it will only devastate that person. I've just finally cut myself off from my ex after trying to remain friends with her for 2 months after the breakup. She was perfectly happy to not be with me, and I was still pining for her, but put on a moving on front. She was all too happy to regale me of sexual exploits and her dating experiences, and all I could do was just try and put on a show that I was happy for her. It killed me.

    But honestly, your best bet if you have ANY lingering feelings for her at all, is to give it time, time and then when you think you're completely over her, some MORE time, before you even try and become friends again.


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What Girls Said 1

  • If it's a far distances friendship, than I would say go ahead. But if you're going to be hurt seeing her with someone else, than forget about it. And you should also take into consideration if she would be hurt to hear you were with someone else too. If they is feeling still with her, than it's going to be harder to get over them by talking to her.

    • Honestly I keep my personal life away from her, I make sure that she is out of the loop of what I have been doing. I am still single but I don't tell her about me going to bars and clubs etc. I can deal with pain, I don't mind it that much.

    • Even if you mind it a little bit, you don't have to deal with pain at all. If she's just going to make you hurt than it's not worth being friends

What Guys Said 2

  • Why did you two break up? She obviously doesn't want you completely out of her life, but why is that? Is she just afraid to be alone or does she think that down the road you two may get back together.

    Was your relationship good or did you fight a lot?

    You state that she will be away in different places,why will she be travelling? Is that the reason you broke up?

    • I put updates to answer your questions.

    • Well it sounds like she has moved on, but just doesn't want to burn bridges. She probably appreciates the time she spent with you, but knows that is over for now. I think its good to remain friendly but great friends who still handout and do things together? I would only do that if I knew for sure neither of us had strong feelings. If you aren't over her then you sh uld be nice, but distance yourself.

  • you can remain good friends with an ex so long as the following conditions have been met:

    1. it's mutual and peaceful

    2. you can accept being friends and turn off the other feelings

    3. you don't date each others friends right after the break up

    • This is a good answer. I tried being friends with my ex but the feelings are still there and always will be. So for the sake of my sanity I cut off contact. If you can do this and not have feelings that is fine, but most cannot do this. I think in 10 years, yes maybe....

      But you will always have it in the back of your mind that you might hae another chance with her.

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