What's your opinion on letters to your ex?

I've heard many opinions about contact with ex's, being strictly no contact, and that she needs to realize your moving etc.

However I wrote a letter or more so, I just wrote my feelings down. Its been 2 months or so since the break up. The relationship was a year and 1/2. And she broke up me.

Is it worth sending? Why do I still feel like this?

The body of it...

'Time is whistling by, feelings aren’t changing, sure I go out and keep busy but it doesn’t change anything.

Inside has a deep, deep hole which has remained empty , feelings try to fill its void, sadness, hate, anger, grief, but none of which get close to filling it to make me content. Love used to be there and that is the only thing that I feel can ever make it right.

I sit here wondering what you might be doing, just like every other day that passes. I still wake up with the thought of you and I go to sleep wishing you good night and sweet dreams.

The thing that hurts the most is knowing I can’t be open with you, I can’t do simple things like asking how your day went or hearing from you to ask how I am. It feels like an agony that at the loneliest of times can be uncontrollable; it rips though you like a knife and twists with each new thought of it.

I still find myself questioning where I went wrong, and wondering why love isn’t as enduring as I’d hoped it to be. '


Most Helpful Girl

  • I can relate! I wrote a letter to my ex as well. But I don't think I'll send it. If I see/talk to him in person I will touch on points in my letter.

    Knowing I have my raw feelings on this piece of paper makes me feel a little better though. Each time I read it I feel stronger and more grounded.

    However I took a different direction with the content of my letter. It was more of a I didn't appreciate that you did this and I don't understand that. But in the end my message was I want closure so help me to understand so I can truly respect why he did what he did and forgive him for the douchey things he pulled.

    Try writing a couple letters, some with the intention of sending and some you know you can say ANYTHING in because it's more of a therapeutic letter. If you have tried contacting her and she is not willing to put that effort forward for you then I would consider sending it. But continue to read the letters you write and points in it will either remain important for you to say or you'll find it easy to cut it out of the letter. Then you can write a final draft of a level headed, smart and grounded message to her that cleary communicates your thoughts/feelings.

    Since she did the dumping try not to sound like you're chasing her or would do anything for her. It may be true but don't give her this power over you. Plus girls LOVE the chase! I know I do. The more you reach out for her the more she wants to get further away. Girls can be crazy!

    Good luck! Hope this helped!

    • Can I just ask? You said girls love the chase. We have spoken a couple of times in the past few days, but the last 2 times, she doesn't text back. Is this a sign of me pushing away? Even though the first time, she contacted me and seemed so interested? We spoke for ages.

      I don't want to allow myself to be drawn in again. What would be your advice? Carry on? Ignore? Tell her that I want to be friends but its too wierd? What? Your right, girls can be crazy! Be grateful if you could share. Thanks

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • i know you don't wana hear this but send letters is not worth sending it sending letters 2 ex is the thing 2 be done as it can open up old sore about the relationships I've wrote a letter once say how I felt but I never sent it, its like say how you feel but not say it hope I help xx

  • I know just how you feel, been through it. You will feel better but only if you create some distance (emotional) between you and you ex.

    DO NOT send that letter it sounds overly dramatic and whiney (like the one I wrote and sent) , if she then did get back with you it would only be out of pity ,and you don't want that.

    If you really want her back try your best to get on with things show her you are having fun and moving on THAT is much more attractive to a woman. Also look at the reason why things ended, are they fixable?


What Guys Said 1

  • Don't send it. I'm literally in the exact same position you are. Only instead of no contact with my ex, we tried so hard to stay friends. But the thing that killed it was my inability to move on past her due to the constant contact. The whole time I was pining for her and trying to put up a front online to try and be like I was moving on, she was ACTUALLY moving on and was all too happy to tell a friend of her sexual exploits and dates, not even considering that I was being devstated.

    Honestly, trying to explain the pain that you are going through to your ex is the exact opposite of what you want. If you want her back, showing her yourself in a weakened state will only turn her off more. The best thing you could do is get better and be more confident and happy with yourself. Show her what she is missing out on (funny, I can give this advice but I can't even listen to it myself).

    As to why you still feel like this, if you find out you let me know. I'm still wondering that same question. And I have no previous relationships to draw experience from so I'm in a nice dark tunnel and can't find my way out. But at all costs, do NOT send that letter.

    • Thanks for the advice, I'm in the same boat with that too, iv found myself giving advice on here, because logically it makes sense, but when it stems down to your sitatuion, its so much harder. trust me my friend, if I find a torch, I'll enlightten you. Nor do I have any previous relationship exp. Id say to you though fella, she's not being fair talking to you still, she shud know that keeping you dangling is cripling you. no canact definitely helps, she got in touch last weekend a couple of times

    • And I replied fooolshly, it stil gave my some hope, which I knew was false, you just can't help it. it makes it easier I think if she's realises this too then there will be less talk. otheriwse, make yourself less availabe.

Recommended myTakes