What do you define as a "successful" relationship?

I'm sitting here in my apartment with my girlfriend and this show she's watching just mentioned something about how a couple can be married for like 40 years but if they break up it is seen as a "failed" marriage. So we have been talking about it for a couple minutes and I thought I would just see what opinions I get on here.

My opinion. I don't believe people are "meant to be" with one person forever. If you end up with that scenario (which is rare) then good for you if that what you want. I don't believe that we are "meant to be" with several people either. I think you create the meaning in your life and whatever you and your partner decide is what happens. I think its kind of a shame that people judge relationships that have ended as "failed relationships." What makes them failures? I don't agree with this mentality but unfortunately for me its all too common. For me I only consider relationships that end tragically (think abuse, one of the people killing the other, etc.) or where the people hate each other or something traumatic happens due to abuse related things or manipulation to be failures. I don't know I think if you start labeling relationships that don't result in long marriages as "failures" you take away the beauty that comes from two people coming together and expressing emotion, love, or hell even lust. You take away the significance or meaning and appreciation that you can walk away with to grow as a person if you just think "oh well we didn't get married. another failed relationship." it seems like such a narrow way of seeing relationships and of seeing people.

As far as marriage goes…same standards. If the people just grow apart and change (which many many people do) and wake up one day finding themselves just staring at a stranger then I don’t see that as failure. You can't grade relationships. You just experience things and grow from them that’s all. Even if someone cheats and that ends the marriage, I don't think that’s necessarily failure either. Sure, you have a huge problem but what else did you do in your relationship before the cheating? Did you build a life together and have moments of happiness? Did you have kids? So you have to end the relationship but that one thing can't turn everything into a failure. I just think blanketing most relationships as successes and failures is kind of short sighted. Even the picture perfect couple who is married for life may have a horrible relationship but many people will still see that as a success by what they see on the outside and a piece of paper that says they're married. Its too old fashioned for me.

My girlfriend agrees. :)

What do you all think?

Sorry this is so long lol


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree except for the one person thing, I do believe in ment to be I think you grow maybe in different directions but you always support the person you are with and admire the difference. We can't all grow mentally at the same speed and I may have experienced something my partner has yet to experience but I would do it again if it was what he chose.

    I think there are many bad things that happen in life whilst in a relationship but my partner does not have to have the same views of this as I do.

    Or shall we say things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out?

    I think that marriages break up too easy these days because they are not with the right person to start with.

    But any relationship we break from is not a failure as even the abusive ones teach us a lesson... don't they?

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What Girls Said 2

  • They took a vow standing in front of People that they loved and the Pastor that they would be there for each other in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. Until death do them part. If they do not stick with that vow...it is a failure. Just like you make a promise to do something for some one and you do fail to follow throug with it. It is a broken promise It had no meaning from the beginning because you did not stay true to it. Thus a failure.

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  • I agree, I di bot think a relationship is failed just because it ends or goes ion a new direction(Abuse, sickness, loss of sprit etc -different thing entirely) ...life is change :)

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