Is it bad that I'm really mad at my ex out of nowhere?

I dated a VERY insecure, controlling, manipulative girl. She is one of those girls that hates herself and thinks she's ugly no matter how hard you try to make her feel good, yet she'll turn around and post a selfie online and get guys to validate her. Overall she sucked, I came into the relationship a happy person and she came in a miserable mess. I'm leaving the relationship a miserable mess and so is she. She's doing all that bashing and stuff immature exes do regardless of the nice things I said to her during the breakup. Only thing is, the longer I don't talk to her, the more I realized how fucked up she was to me. It really hit me today like "wow this girl broke up with me a year ago because she THOUGHT I liked a picture of a girl on instagram and still broke it off after she logged into my account and saw that I didn't" and I still got back with her after that for a whole nother year. Thing is, I don't want to feel this frustration and hatred, I honestly felt nothing for like 4 weeks and now I just have this hatred for her that she was such a bad person to me and I always went out of my way to help her low self esteem for two years and now out of the relationship she's not afraid to bash me. I'm mad about it but I want to feel nothing/indifference again because it's a waste of energy being mad at her and it makes me all anxious and hoping she texts me so I can go off on her. Sorry I sound immature as well but two years of controlling abusive manipulative behavior really made me mad today after realizing that it was actually that bad.


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  • I went through this with a very close friend of mine (before I realized what was happening I thought maybe we'd date) and for a while I felt nothing for a few months and now I have a lot of anger towards her for dragging me through the mud without a care. It's not bad to feel that way, people who are like your ex and mine are very hard to keep up with emotionally, because they're not easily helped and some of them are at a point where they just can't or don't want to be. It's okay for you to feel this way, you gave much more to her than what she was willing to trust you with, and the only advice I've really got is to look at it like facts. She was emotionally fragile, insecure, and manipulated you. You gave her what you could but things didn't work out. Focus on separating how you feel from who she is, because you're upset at her behavior, and in doing this you'll eventually be able to think of her without being so mad.

    • It means a ton when someone that's been through the same thing gives advice. Thanks for the kind words, I guess it's understandable to feel how I do and how you did but at the end of the day I know I'm way better off without her. Thanks a lot this was a great answer.

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