Can anyone weigh in on my relationship with my ex?

My ex broke up with me a year ago. We dated for about 5months and we're good friends before. Broke up mainly due to personality and value clashes, he even said it wasn't a nasty breakup. I was hurt for a bit though not gonna lie. During the breakup, he was very adamant about us being friends in time and I know lots of people say that but I do truly believe he meant it and how he still wanted me in his life. A month after the break up we met up but it was a bit too soon as I got emotional at the end. We then went 5 months of complete no contact until he reaches out and suggests to meet up. We met up in October for almost 3 hours and there was no awkwardness. He said at one point he missed hanging out but felt we needed the break. He even suggested us playing sports in the future and was the one to start reminiscing about our good times. I have a pretty good read on situations and I feel the hangout went well other than maybe it went too long but he could of left anytime if he wasn't enjoying himself. I haven't heard from him since our hangout though that night other than when I texted him happy bday the next month which led to a brief convo. I'm confused what's going on. Our hangout showed we could be friends again In time but know I'm questioning everything that night which is stupid cause I felt good about it. I'm fairly certain he's not dating anyone so it can't be a new girlfriend preventing him talking to me or anything. Why would he say all those things and now I haven't heard from him? Does he not value me as a friend? He always said how he knew I was such a good friend and always have his back. Any insight? I want to be friends but it has to be two-sided I have seem receptive to being friends. I'm going crazy overthinking.


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What Guys Said 3

  • Be honest with yourself. Do you want to be friends because you hope that spending time together will lead to more than just friendship? Honestly?

    • I honestly miss the friendship and his presence. Why would
      He say those things and not follow up?

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    • Alcohol loosens up people's inhibitions and they say things they would not ordinarily say, but it doesn't make them say things that they don't think or feel.

      This is over, isn't it? Aren't you severely over-thinking this situation?

    • I am lol. Thanks for your advice

  • Having an ex around is definitely weird. I am friends with my ex and we are exactly like how you describe it. One thing you have to know that you both have lives outside of each other now. I have made plans to meet up with my ex and catch up and be friends again. But I think I always believe that I can't truly be friends again with her without being back together or people being super weirded out about it. Yes she is a great person, but I have my own friends now and I have moved on. So I never went through with those plans. It sucks really, cause I do still care about her in a really platonic way, but things can never be the same.

    • We only dated for 4 months and we were friends before. How long did you and you ex date for? Are you saying I need to stop taking it so personally it more has to do with the situation and not me as a person? He always said how much he valued me though

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    • I'm not in love with him. But yea i do miss a good friend.

    • But like you said friendship with any kind of ex is never a true friendship

  • I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

    • I don't want to get back together but I do miss the friendship. Why would he be so adamant about being friends and even suggest meeting up after months or NC and now I haven't hear from him since November? Does he not value my friendship? Or is it less to do with me and more to do with the situation? We weren't together years only a few months but it meant something.

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