How to end an online relationship that he wants to turn physical (fly me to his city)?

I feel bad but feel worse leading him on now. It wasn't my intention but he has told his friends and family about me (he got them all to yell hi to me in the bar on snapchat then said love you babe) so for him it's more serious than for me. I told two friends about him but honestly never thought anything would ever come of the situation like meeting in person which he now wants. He wants to buy me a ticket to fly to his city and stay for two weeks. We've been dating online for 8 months. Some would say just block and delete him but I don't have the heart to do that I feel I owe him an explanation and would like to stay friends. Advice on how to end this please?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Be honest tell him you do like him but didn't think the relationship would manifest into a meet in real life situation. He'll be mad and heartbroken and he may say some things, let him and dont take him seriously. Also don't do online dating if you aren't going to make it serious.

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    • Yes
      Wtf she is another ignorant girl.
      Date online then don't count it as serious?
      Etc is dating then?
      A play thing?

      Either a bitch like to hurt people feelings

      Or ignorant naive.

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    • Conclusion : don't read any of that.

      Do you see there is a chance you will like him?

      If the answer is yes : tell him you don't like him but you need more time , keep talking to each other and see how it goes.

      If the answer is no : finish it asap. Sooner the better because more time = more attached to you and he will be hurt more

    • @1988fido Fair enough. I don't see it going anywhere I said I'm going to tell him tonight

Most Helpful Girl

  • Just tell him that you think he's moving a bit too fast in the relationship and that you're not comfortable going to visit him yet, regardless of whether he buys the ticket or not.

    If you go, you're not only going to be leading him on, but you'll also be reinforcing the idea that if he pays, you'll do as he pleases. Essentially making yourself an escort. So... yeah. Just telling him that you're not ready to meet in person yet is the lesser of the two (or three) evils.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • Whoa 8 months and you wanna end it now? *Judges you silently*

    Just be honest, call him and tell him that you don't feel the same way and you would like end things. You won't see the guy in person so you don't have to worry about repercussions.

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    • We never even talk on the phone it's always just typing and him wanting to face time but me never wanting to I hate video chatting he's quite a bit older than me too

    • Then message him. If he starts bothering you block him.

  • Tell him you don't see it going anywhere. He will be crushed. Life moves on.

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  • Tell him politely that the online dating scene isn't for you and see where things go from there.

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  • Rip the bandaid off, tell him that you never wanted this, and see how that go's...

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  • you straight up tell him it's not going to work out so he doesn't waste his money.

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What Girls Said 1

  • ... :/ I wish you had known some of those relationships can actually materialize.

    I am in a long distance relationship myself...

    by the way, may I ask... Is it that you dont like him at all? Or are you just scared of how big of a commitement it may be to take things to the next level?

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    • Honestly there are a few things about him that bother me. Sometimes he just agrees with what I say just to agree with me instead of engaging in good conversation (when he agrees I'll say but it could be blah blah and he's like you're right sweetie) feels like I'm talking to a wall sometimes. He talks down to me sometimes because he's 35 and I'm 24 kind of like an adult talking to a kid which makes me feel that were not on the same level. Patronizing? Not sure. I'm very attracted to him but there's just that intuition in my heart that it wouldn't work out.

    • hmm then I mean... I also would listen to my heart in these matters. If it doesn't sit well with you... and you're not feeling inclined towards meeting him, then I think you need to break it to him.

      I just wished it hadn't taken such a long time for you to realise it. But I get that sometimes it is unavoidable. We need time to figure out what people mean to us, sometimes.

      The best you can do for him is to tell him as soon as possible and when you are sure that is what you want. I dont agree with your friends advice of just blocking him, because even if you two haven't physically met yet, he is still a person and he does deserve an explanation/closure after 8 months, like in any other kind of relationship that is ending...

      May I just ask one question? You guys never discussed meeting until recently? Seems like it never went through your mind as a possibilty and that you were taking this not as a real relationship. Just wondering why it took 8 months for you to realise it?

    • Im not judging. Just curious really. 8 months is a lot of time

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