Girls, guys - HELP?

Strap on your seatbelts kids, this is a long one 😁:

So I was in a relationship for a year and a half with a beautiful angel of a girl. Stuff happened in her life that made it a shitstorm for her and I was there to comfort her every single time I was aware that she needed it.

Now, providing emotional support to someone, while your own goals, dreams and friendships fade away and you're going into depression was not an easy chsllenge. To top it all off Im broke and I have to figure out a way to make money to provide for us if we're together. This a serious toll for a 19 year old kid like me.


Probably a year and 5 months into it I couldnt deal with it. I was slowly distancing myself away from her. Year and a half rolls bye. She felt that I was totally done (which Im not sure if I was but I was definitely a broken man at that point) so she decided we should break up. I wasn't really sure if I was against it but I was fucking confused that I was gonna lose the only person that's ever given that much of a shit about me.

So we broke up.

Aaand those were the 2 most miserable weeks in recent memory. Crying every day - feeling alone, empty and frightened...

I realised that I really have nothing in life apart from her so 2 weeks after we broke up I asked her to go outside for a walk with me. I told her then that I would change, that I realise that I wasn't giving a shit about her the last month of our relationship and that Im ready to give her more space since I realise all trust was lost... She agreed to try again but on the next day when we went out she said that it was a hasty decision and really she doesn't know. So I gave her the choice to START OVER EVERYTHING as if we had just met. She agreed and now we're in this beginning phase of a relationship. I haven't even held her hand yet 😁.
Can you give me advice as to how to build her trust back? Thanks in advance 😊


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • How to win her trust back? What? I don't really understand through which of your actions you lost it in the first place..

    Honestly, I don't think this is going to be a healthy relationship. You said it yourself- you've already realized that, the first time you were together, you had nothing going for you aside from her. So, rather than staying single and working on improving yourself as an independent person, you choose to reenter into this relationship where you're entirely codependent on her?

    • When we got together I had stuff going on for me. It was a gradual decline into oblivion. I lost her trust because she saw I didn't really give a shit at the end and thought that she couldnt share anything with me like she used to. So the end of the relationship was because of no communication. And part of the fault is that I have no clue what's going on in my life and that jumbled mess in my head transferred to the relationship. I would work on the randomest shit for weeks at a time and almost ignore her. So you're saying it's a bad move to stay together?

    • well... yeah? Based off of what you've written here, at least, I'd say that it sounds like you need to focus on getting your own shit together before getting back with her. Do you honestly think there's been a significant difference in how much you know what's going on in your life now, in comparison to how you felt two weeks ago, and was basically what led to your first breakup? Are you sure you're not just wanting her back to make you FEEL like you've got your shit more together because she's the 'only person who gives/gave a shit about you', so you're just using her as a temporary life-vest yet again?

      Correct me if I'm wrong but to me, that sounds exactly like what's going on.

    • I think you're right. Pretty spot on 😁. Fuck. Thank you

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't distance yourself like you did before. Find a good way of making money as well, that way she knows you are able to maintain yourself and your relationship. Just start over, do some of the things you did in your first prime of your relationship. If you really want to start over, don't bring up things that you or she did in the past

    • This is exactly what I told her I wanted to do now. Start over. I still really like her so I thought like you - figure out what the beginning of our relationship looked like and do more of the things we both enjoyed. And we did that 2 days ago. It was the best date we'd had in months! And yesterday we talked about whether it was a good idea to do it or not... We're both really confused, Im scared and attached, the whole thing is a mess 😁 Thanks for the advice!

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