Why do I still have feelings for him? What do I do when I see him?

We were hanging ou and dating for about a month until out of nowhere he told me he wasn't over his ex. I backed off immediately and avoided him. This was eight months ago. We would still see each other because of our mutual friends. And whenever he would see me he would be all over me, flirting with me. He would always be close by to me and only trying to talk to me.. but I didn't pay him any attention. Three months ago he was all over me trying to kiss me and I gave in... since then we haven't spoken much and I haven't seen him. But next week we have a work conference together in Paris.. we work for the same company but haven't worked together since it's a massive company. We have the same flight and same hotel with 10 other colleagues. I don't know how to feel. I did start to like him in the beginning, and there is so much attraction. I thought we had a connection, was clearly wrong. I really don't want to get pulled into this again.. what do I do.. I don't want to be a fool and get hurt all over:( need some advice I don't know what to do? And what will his reaction be.. I haven't seen him in 3 months


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • What you do is learn from it that you don't date coworkers


What Girls Said 1

  • Coming from my past relationship, I fell in love with a friend, and he was going through a breakup at the moment. Given a couple of months, things felt right or at least I thought it did. He said he felt right, and I believed it. When we got into the relationship, I soon realized that he was still fighting off the baggage the past relationship place. He was my first love and we didn't know truly how to approach things. Unfortunately, it ended due to many toxic elements and baggage the person had. I don't regret the relationship, nor do I hate him, but if he told you that he isn't over his ex. Then, I don't think it's wise to pursue a relationship with him. Because not only would that put stress on you, and if you're not willing to work 100% with that, then I think you need to give him time. If you truly love the person, you would want them to heal, even if it will take time. If it happens that he finally healed, at least have a 1 to 1 conversation about it, and question from there on if you want to pursue him.

    • It's been almost a year now that he broke up with his ex. We haven't seen each other in 4 months. It's good he did tell me I can respect that. But then him being so flirty made it difficult and confusing for me. I already caught feelings and it was hard to not want to act on them. I don't know how he feels about me. I think we should have a conversation but I just don't want to get hurt and look stupid. Especially if for him it was just all fun and he never liked me at all and just wanted to sleep with me and here I am, still thinking about him

    • In my opinion, I see 3 options. 1) You have a conversation, take the risk of being embarrassed & figure out the truth, 2) You don't have the conversation, keep pursuing him
      3) You don't have the conversation & move on. I know that it's almost been a year, but sometimes it takes more time for some people, there are cases where in the state of sadness people do some really dumb things to fill in a gap. The only way to know if he has feelings for you is to ask him. I think the worst thing you can do to yourself is let him lead you on, if you, yourself are confused. The number one thing I want in a relationship is to be open & to be in love with each other. Why make a relationship happen, if it's only satisfying one need. If you do ask, and he tells you that he's over the ex, then that's great. But, there is always the possibility of embarrassment if feelings aren't the same. Sure, you may feel like a fool at the moment, but at least you know the truth, & you can move on or wait.

Recommended myTakes