I broke up with a guy and I told him we shouldn't text because it'll make it harder- he says to hit him up if I want to talk?

I don't want to because I need to move on and focus on myself. I really liked him but we can't date each other.
Why does he keep insisting we "talk"?


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  • When you go through a breakup, you're essentially learning to move on and accept that it's over. And because of that, you're also learning on how to adapt without each other, as you're essentially moving away from a routine. Coming from me, I was in the exact same situation, except he broke up with me multiple times. We were an on and off the relationship, and we said that we wanted space each breakup. But, when your hurting, your brain tells you that in order to fix the pain, you need to get back together. And in your scenario, I feel that he's insisting on talking because he wants that routine back in his life, without that title; a temporary fix. But, girl, you broke up with him for a reason, and as of right now, you need to focus on yourself not him. If you believe that you need time, and he keeps insisting, tell him that you can't, block him if you need to. Not only are you hurting yourself and not moving on, but you're giving him temporary relief. Don't make the mistake that I did, we "pretended" that we were ok, that we were friends, and we talked as if we were still together. Sure, that happiness was back for a while, but it ended up crashing down because we had so much to heal, and we didn't give each other space to do so. I'm still going through an emotional roller coaster, but I can confidently say that I'm so much more happy telling myself to keep distance, than forcing interaction with him, so then we could be friends and talk it out. I hope this help, you're not in this alone. And remember, you yourself are an amazing person, and as of right now, you should only care on healing yourself even if it may seem hard now. Take as much time as you need, be with friends and family and do the things you love. Accept that it happened and eventually you WILL move on. If you have any questions, I'm here to help you out. Best of luck <3

    • Aw I'm glad that you are healing and moving on! I'm sure your relationship was long and very passionate.
      Unfortunately this guy and I were only dating.
      We had hiccups where I felt like I was putting in all the effort. He never initiates dates and I always had to ask him when I would see him. He says I was too much and I needed to chill out. So I did.. and he just didn't make me feel special. So I told him I'm going to stop dating and focus on myself instead. He keeps insisting to hit him up if I want to talk. I told him I don't want to. He keeps saying ok well if want to just text him and tells me peace out. -__- If he really cared about me he would react differently or fight for me. Given this was only 1 month it shouldn't be that serious but it seems like he wants me to chase him. I did enough pursuing. If he wanted me he would've taken me on a real date instead of always wanting to cuddle and touch each other.

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    • Yeah. I tried to be open to him about it but my gut told me to move on. He didn't make me feel special because he never asked me out. He never said , " I want to take you here." Or "let's do this" it was always me saying. So when will we see each other next? Want to go to this place? Let's go here since you like beer. Granted he did text me every day and I told him I would like to talk on the phone. Every time I called him it would only last 2-3 minutes and he would say I'm tired or I'm going to hangout with a friend kind of thing. Yet he never made time to want to "get to know me". I almost left him twice before but I stayed. But this time I decided I needed to go because nothing will change. His personality and mine just didn't match and it left me feeling undesirable and unhappy.

    • Then, that's your answer. He made you unhappy, unloved and you felt that you invested your interest in him, and he didn't. Not only that, but you made the attempt to talk to him, and it was his choice on if he was willing to listen or change. The way you responded to me, made it clear, and that is you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who won't make the effort, despite having a hopefully civil conversation. I say, stick with your gut, move on and eventually you will find someone who will cherish you and you could cherish back. Right now, you deserve to be fulfilled whether it's with someone or not. Think of it this way, you decided to end it before you got hurt even more and now you know what you want and don't want as a companion. If he continues to talk to you, make it crystal clear on how you feel, don't sugar coat anything, and block him if it hurts too much. The best way to end things, is to be brutally honest, so then he could understand. Good luck <3

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