Ex and I speak everyday all day, but haven't seen him in 2 months. What gives?

We were together over 4 years ( would of been 5 years this coming weekend) both late 20's.

Broke up because I stepped out on him ( before shaming me, I know what a shitty person I was, i found out he was doing things behind my back so I retaliated )...

We broke up 6 months ago, didn't talk for about 2, started talking again angerly then slowly come around the holidays we started telling each other we miss each other, still love each other, both screwed up. We've hung out a few times, we're intimate, talked about how it's hard to get back together without trust and just trying to figure things out.

For it the last 3 and a half months we talk everyday all day, from the minute we wake up to the minute we go to sleep. We haven't talked about our "situation " since a big argument we had over it in February and things talking wise have been great! We talk all day long laughing, venting, sexting, basically everything we had when we were together.

he asked to hang out about a month ago, go out hiking then an hour later said he is going to raincheck. I played it cool said no worries, he was so apologetic about it kept saying he feels bad maybe next weekend. He invited me to meet him at a bar one night but weather was crappy I couldn't, offered me a ride home one night but I was already on the train. We live within walking distance to each other needless to say.

I've invited him over 3 weekends in a row. First weekend was " ugh I had every intention of coming over but I ordered food and don't feel like leaving ".. last week was something private which I understood, last night was " I'm exhausted I had work at 8am and it's so late now. But I know we should hang out"... told him I feel like I'm an idiot chasing someone who doesn't want me, he said "no, you're not an idiot your doing fine "

what should i think / do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • everything between you seems fine until he ignores your invites, if a person truly loves another, then he wouldn't miss a chance to be with him/her.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Walk away. The problems you had haven't been sorted out. You haven't spoken about it and worked out next steps and expectations, just ignored the problems to enjoy the fun side.
    If you didn't have the history this would be the dating and testing each other out, completely normal. But you do have the history and both of you made mistakes you haven't yet sorted out to decide if you're actually a compatible couple. Ignoring it doesn't make it not there.
    I truly believe that if you want something - you make the time for it no matter how busy you are. There were options there for all of those times where really, you both could have made a slight adjustment and still seen each other but you aren't. I'm guessing to not seem too keen or "needy" to the other.
    But if you aren't willing to invest, you get no return and I wouldn't keep putting more emotion into something when I could learn, heal and move on

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Make up your fucking mind. Either breakup or be together. People like you make me vomit

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    • Makes you vomit because we are trying to figure things out? Gee thanks

    • Nothing to figure out. He won't change you won't change do you want to accept each other as is and be together or not

What Girls Said 1

  • umm dont forget why they became your ex in the first place

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