Why isn't he making any effort to stay friends?

About five months ago, my ex and I broke up because he stopped loving me. He seemed really gung ho about being friends but he's made absolutely no effort to maintain a friendship with me. Two weeks after our breakup, I sent him a text wishing him good luck with his play that he was in. When I ran into him at the mall, I greeted him and gave him a hug and we texted for a little while afterward. The last time I spoke with him was about two weeks ago and he seemed really happy to hear from me and responded pretty quickly, but he never takes the initiative to reach out to me. It could be because he's afraid, for whatever reason. When we first started dating, I was the one to take initiative. I was the first to express my feelings, initiate a relationship, and I was the first to kiss. Taking charge isn't really his forte I suppose. But I just don't understand why someone would say they wanna be friends, tell OTHER people that we're still friends, follow up on my business, and do absolutely NOTHING to maintain a friendship. I know he lost feelings for me (within a matter of fucking WEEKS) during our relationship, but there was once a time when he couldn't go a full day without talking to me, wanted to hold me, wanting to be with me. I always believed there was a friendship within all of this. You'd think he'd want to maintain contact with someone who was once such a huge part of his life and not just drop them like a hot potato in an instant. Do you guys have any insight on what might be going on with him and if I should say anything?


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What Guys Said 3

  • because men and women are not friends. ESP Ex's. Once your sexual with someone, why would you just want to be friends with them? your always going to be thinking sex on some level and that is the only reason to keep them around. Once I break up with someone I take them off social media and I am done. I don't need to interact with them after that.

    • He's still best friends with his ex fuck buddy, so come up with a different answer

  • He's just not interested anymore. When someone offers to stay friends after a breakup they are often just being kind in order to soften the blow and to ease their conscience a little. You can't take such an offer seriously because it's more complicated than that. He has moved on and is clearly not that interested in being in regular contact. You have to accept that and move on, there is no other choice.

  • he's moved on, so should you.


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