Girls need advice, ex girlfriend issues?

OK so me and my ex have been talking A LOT since we've broke up...its been about 6 months now...anyways here's the issues...I've been talking to her friend. NOTHING CRAZY, she just asked me for my advice on her relationship with this guy and I'm her friend as well, so I gave her my advice and we ended up becoming good friends...NO I wouldn't hook up with her and NO its not close where we've thought about it, we are just good friends now. she was going through a similar situation as I was and I was just trying to help as she was me(mind you this girl likes like 4-5 hours away from me and my ex). anyways she wrote on my wall about it was good seeing me over the weekend, because I visited MY FRIENDS(guys) and she ended up being there(I had no idea). I replied on her wall and I get a call from my ex saying how I'm a scum bag and disrespectful and that if I call or text her she'll get a restraining order on me. what the hell is going on? I've been SO NICE to my ex, telling her ill always be there for her, that I wish things were different and she could see how I am now, she currently has a boyfriend so I don't get the issue here? WHY is she doing this WHY all of the sudden does she hate me again...she was FINE earlier in the day, texting me, having fun, being friends, then she see's my response to our friends post...ahhh I'm just so confused, why is she doing this? why after me being so nice and proving to her I love her and will always be there for her does she say she needs me out of her life because all I do is hurt her? I don't get it? how did I hurt her, I told her straight up the conversations I have with our mutual friend is harmless and she's over analyzing the situation, I just don't know what to do...it stresses me out because I get so close to her and then boom she's just like SO bi polar I think...she sent me a song by one republic "come home" this past Monday and then now I'm some asshole...i just don't get it I'm single and she isn't my girlfriend, I tried telling her that if she wants to be with me then to ask me and maybe we can take things slow...i just don't get WHY the hell I'm the bad guy here, WHY is she so upset, what the heck can I do ...I've showed her plenty of times I'm trust worthy and that I will not hurt her...I'm trying to tell her that she's hurt and unhappy not because of me but because she's not with me...ahhh I don't really know I just need some advice on what to do...i haven't contacted her since she said she was going to get a restraining order(which I think she said because she can) I just love her so much and know I could make her happy, someone please give me some advice :/


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Most Helpful Girl

  • For me there are two options: 1) She's upset because you talked to a good friend of hers and the message that your mutual friend posted on your wall made it sound like that maybe you guys had planned this without telling her about it. I can see how she would become suspicious, even though she may have overreacted a little. 2) She may have reacted like this because of the way you broke up (maybe she suspected you having something with another woman). This brought back old memories...

    It's painful if your ex-boyfriend finds somebody new, especially when your friends, or trying to be. It doesn't necessarily mean that she still has feelings for you. It's even more hurtful if the new person is a girl that you thought was your friend. I know that's not the case here, but she could have gotten that impression from the Facebook message, so be aware.

    If I were you I would try to give her some time to cool down, then explain the situation to her again (calmly!) and ask her whether she still has feelings for you (the song she sent you does allude to that, but since she has a new boyfriend, I'm not sure...). To me, it looks like that your ex is pretty confused and the fact that you're still talking quite often, may have made it difficult for the both of you to move on.

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    • She told me she is still very attached to me, that she loves me and cares for me...i know this doesn't mean she's in love with me anymore but why bother saying it? it just sucks, this is the second time I've given her space and she always comes back, how do I get her to realize its me she wants...i mean its pretty obvious that's it, but it doesn't do any good coming from me :( I wish I had an outside source to tell her

    • To me this sounds as if she is kind of insecure and isn't able to make sense of what she is feeling. I'm sorry if this sounds hard but if she would really love you, there wouldn't be one doubt in her mind about who she should be with... Please make sure that it's really you that she wants and that she is just keeping you from moving on out of jealousy! Otherwise you may get hurt. Lay low for a while, see how she reacts. If she loves you she will stop playing games and let you know how she feels!

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What Girls Said 2

  • Of course I meant... "that she is NOT just keeping you from moving on out of jealousy"

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  • i think that she still has feelings for you or she wouldn't be freaking out like that. you should ask was mad because it was her friend or because she was jealous to see you with another girl. good luck!

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