How do you guys handle breakups, more specifically from a very serious relationship?

For me, I'm very vocal on how feel, I talk to friends and spend time away from that person. While, my friend likes to hide it in and deal with it on her own. So I'm really curious on what you guys do, and why you do those things. Thanks!

0|0
113

Most Helpful Guy

  • Most of the guys (including me) who were really serious about the relationship try to keep it to themselves, they cry only in front of their male pals and try to show that they r fine and the girls get this misconception that guys don't really care. The truth is that they feel empty and worthless and probably go into depression. Trust me this is true, according to my experience.

    1|2
    0|0
    • Oh that's interesting. No, I do get that. My ex doesn't talk about it and pretends that he is alright because he doesn't want other people involve. And granted, there was a point in my time where I saw him and thought "He didn't care" and that hurt a lot, but I get it now. Thank you for sharing your opinion. I'm curious, but if you keep it in do you think you fully healed and learned from mistakes right away or does that come with time? Does the reality of "I lost a person" hit later on or in the beginning? Because for me, once the breakup happens, stop everything, ready to ball my eyes out, it's 100% over, and the pain just overwhelms a lot of things.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have noticed they move on in the blink of an eye. They fake it until they make it. I'm a woman, If I am deeply in love and attached to someone I am very emotional and depressed for quite some time then I suppress it.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yup, I know that feeling. My ex tends to keep it in and goes the "fake it, till you make it mentality" which is completely fine, as long as they healed from it. But, yeah how do you suppress these emotions. I tend to hang out with friends and use my ex as a motivation. For me, there are some good and bad days, but at the end of the day he is gone and he was a special person in my life (Will continue to be as a memory).

    • Show All
    • I think it hurts on both parts to be honest whether they were broken up with or they were were the one who broke up with them. I feel like, no matter what breakups hurt because your losing a person who was special in your life and as human beings we hate rejection. I understand you guys for taking your own approach to it, and acting tough or that everything is fine. And that only is probably very difficult to do. But, coming from someone ignorant to this type of coping mechanism (Being that I need to talk it out, holding it in is hell in general), does that help you guys heal faster or better because you fake that it's ok? I would feel I guess trapped and I would feel that I'm lying to myself if so.

    • breaking up and being broken up both hurt, but differently. i hate hurting people so it does hurt me when I do break up with them. and no, holding it in definitely does not make it better, I had to talk it out with a couple of people in order to start feeling better. it's really just that it's still taboo for a guy to express his feelings like that.

Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 12

  • Here is how I feel:
    I see all these posts about EXes... Why does my ex not like me? This and that about an ex... should we get back together...

    An EX means.. in the past. In my life, after any break up, an EX is out of my mind. I move on almost immediately and never think of, try to contact, check up on, etc...

    Breakups happen for a reason...

    I'm not talking about someone who moved away... I'm talking about relationships that ended due to cheating, abuse, incompatibility and such...

    Who CARES about an EX? Who cares about what an EX thinks of them?

    Then "breaks"... what's that all about? all this is is an admission you can't commit in a relationship. Taking a vacation from a relationship isn't going to fly.

    ALSO... getting back together after a breakup.. or chasing someone to get back together... sorry folks, the same issues are gonna be there.

    This "closure" What's that about? No such thing... So what? It's over.. there is your closure.

    Move on... where you found one guy/gal, there will always be more.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'll be honest here. I'm a little bit of a psycho. I'll always tell my girlfriend to never let me know if they want to leave. Just get your shit and go. Otherwise, I do things that may be consider bad.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You always have to do what comes hardest.. no contact, ditch everything linked to him, out of sight out of mind. And the biggest key thing... time.
    It does hurt, it is normal. It will end, you will move on. It's all about looking out for yourself, spend time with friends, embrace the situation and deal with it one day at a time...

    0|0
    0|0
  • Every breakup has been different but I just let myself feel it all, I talk to those who ask and most importantly I refocus on me and my life. I avoid blaming the girl and being angry by just accepting that whatever the reason it had to be and I move on

    0|0
    0|0
  • alcohol. that is how I handled it (wasn't an extremely serious relationship but yeah) my uncle also resorted to it and it seemed to work for him (he was married for 12 years so I am guessing that would count

    0|0
    0|0
    • So, what makes you resort to alcohol? And if so, do you feel that alcohol helps you move on completely? Because for me, I try to avoid that as much as possible despite being tempting. I feel that it only temporarily fixes my problems and I'm hiding from how I truly feel. That's why I like being vocal, addressing that the relationship ended and just cry till no tomorrow if needed. Sorry, if it's too personal. Again, I just want to understand others and their coping mechanisms.

    • Show All
    • Thank you so much for sharing. I feel that there is no complete solution because no matter what, life is going to be hard. I think it's the matter of how each person copes with it, for how long and if they learn from it (so it can be applied in the future). Because I think of it as different solutions for problems in life whether its a breakup or not. But, thanks again for sharing!

    • no problem. I guess.

  • I just get concentrate on myself and move on and talk to friends and go out on nights out and have a good time

    0|0
    0|0
  • I went through a breakup after 5 years together, four months ago. we met in college. it's not easy, especially because we still love each other. I couldn't commit to wanting kids and she knew she wanted them within the next five years. it's been hard, real hard. I've been fighting loneliness and depression by going to the gym and exercising, and trying to be more social. but in a small town with few friends after college my life is mainly work, gym, and a class I'm taking for work. I deal with it one day at a time and try to be as good a person I can. I'm focusing on the house I just bought and trying to help my family. I don't know too much else I can do as the bar never enticed me much.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I spend time with my best friend, he helps me through it

    1|0
    0|0
  • i'll cry, thats for sure, then ill go out and drink/chill with the squad until i grt over it, but im mostly depressed for months.

    0|0
    0|0
  • it hurts, just try to busy and try to be happy so u dnt think about it

    0|0
    0|0
  • We ether move on or just fill bad depends on self confidence

    0|0
    0|0
  • I keep it inside and deal with it on my own

    0|0
    0|0
    • I have a question if you don't mind. My ex is like you, he doesn't like to talk it out, which I can respect. But for him, he feels that if he were to talk it out, he would be bothering everyone else. Is that the case for you as well? I just want a better understanding of how other people deal with hardships because I find it fascinating and it may help me understand and emphasize with more individuals, if I too can understand. Thank you so much!

    • Show All
    • Oh that's really interesting, but doesn't it build up or are you really good at handling it and keeping your priorities straight?

    • I'm pretty good at handling it but on rare occasions I have an outburst

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

Recommended myTakes

Loading...